Hugging is not a felony

By: ELAINE BELLUCCI - For The Californian | Thursday, November 18, 2004 7:11 PM PST ∞

Remember when the position of zero-tolerance in the public school system seemed like a good concept? When the idea of cracking down on juveniles who brought trouble to school in the form of illegal drugs, weapons and criminal activities was foremost in your mind?

If you are anything like me, you were relieved that schools instituted policies in order to keep our children safe. You were pleased in the administrations' attempts to take every precaution available to them to do their best in preventing another Columbine or Santana High School massacre.Ý And relieved that our communities' kids would be educated in a safe environment.

And, if you are anything like me, hugging did not make your list of expulsion-worthy offenses.

Well, add it to the list. It seems to be a major offense at Lake Elsinore's Temescal Canyon High School. A female teacher has accused a 17-year old male student of what I describe as inappropriate embracement. I agree the boy crossed the line because he didn't stop the first time she told him to, and grabbed her and hugged her again. That can be a scary situation for a woman, and there is also the added humiliation of having her authority as a teacher compromised. But should expulsion, or even suspension, be considered?

Have we become so scared of our children and young adults that unsolicited hugging is now considered cause for expulsion? Have school personnel and policies become so draconian that common sense has no place in the public school milieu?

This teacher and the administration took what could have been a wonderful opportunity to educate this young man on the importance of personal space, good manners and respect for others, especially women ---- and turned it into a lesson of injustice, mistrust of authority, especially women, and litigation.

Yes, litigation. It seems that the young man's mother has hired an attorney. Of course a claim for damages and attorney's fees will be filed against the school district. Normally I would chastise the young man's mother for filing a frivolous lawsuit. But not this time. I can't see an alternative in this matter considering the unparalleled outlandish over-reaction of the school authorities.

The teacher should have sent that young man directly to the principal's office. And then the principal should have called the young man's mother, and arranged for a meeting between all of the parties to discuss the conduct expected of a young man. This entire episode could have been handled in a day, maybe two or three if detention or community service was decided upon.

When I was in high school, a boy stabbed me in the arm with his pencil. He got into big trouble, which back then meant a call to both of our families, a meeting with the principal, payment by the boy's family for my doctor's visit, a verbal apology from him to me, suspension for three days, and whatever else his family may have deemed appropriate as punishment.

He was just a young man who did a stupid thing, and his punishment fit his crime. He went on to college, and is now a solid citizen raising a family of his own. I shudder to think about what would have happened to him in today's climate; full of negative assumptions regarding our young adults and the blind justice of zero-tolerance policies we utilize to keep them in check.

What are we teaching our young?

Elaine Bellucci of Murrieta is a regular columnist for The Californian. E-mail: elainebellucci@msn.com.

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