You can't deep-six the high five
I just can't help myself.
Every time I see it happen, I have the urge to laugh.
I can't help but feel tickled every time I see a man high-five his wife.
Nothing says "I love you" like a vigorous overhead smack to the palm.
Any cause for celebration is cause for some folks to express themselves through that odd American tradition.
Friends, marrieds, teammates. Any small success calls for flailing away at one another. Some folks queue up like line dancers to slap hands with everyone concerned.
This, of course, has obvious disadvantages for the less-tall members of the group or pair, who occasionally take several slaps to the head and shoulder area ---- but all in the name of camaraderie.
There are obviously times that hand-slapping is appreciated. I daresay necessary. Such as tag-team wrestling. A relationship like that would be nowhere without it. If a guy has you in a headlock, that solid contact with your partner's hand is priceless.
Of course, at that point you'll take five up top, down low or on the side. Hey, you'll take pinky to pinky if it gets you loose from your tormentor.
Many athletes perform the hand-slapping as a solidarity ritual.
But when I see just-plain-folks making it a family ritual, well, I can't help but pine for the old days when a smile and a kiss on the cheek accomplished the same purpose.
For my money, nothing says "good job" like a sincere hug, but that's just me.
Age doesn't exclude someone from hands-on participation. Adults not only high-five each other, they high-five children. And kids love to replicate adult behavior ---- especially the silly stuff.
The funniest imitative example I've seen so far happened during a rehearsal for a holiday play at a preschool. About 40 kids were lined up in four rows, vocally groping their way through a song.
One little guy about 3 feet tall stood on the end of the second row, agonizing his way through the lyrics.
When the last note sounded, he grinned, pumped his fist, ran down the few stairs to the front of the group, leaped into the air and high-fived the startled teacher, who had raised her hand to call the little ones to attention.
My friend turned to me and said, "That kid needs to stop watching football with his dad."
To be fair, women often high-five one another also. They, too, have victories. And what's good for the guys is good for the girls, right?
But what goes through a woman's mind when the man she loves makes such a gesture? Does she feel cherished and secure as a result of this male-bonding affectation?
I'm not saying it's a bad thing to do.
It just looks funny, that's all. And highly entertaining.
I can hardly wait for the trend of chest-bumping to gain popularity.
Oh, the possibilities.
I'm falling down laughing just thinking about it.
Contact staff writer Agnes Diggs at (951) 676-4315, Ext. 3511, or adiggs@californian.com.