The end of civilization as we owe it

By: LOUISE ESOLA - Staff Writer | Friday, June 2, 2006 9:20 PM PDT ∞

Everybody remembers Y2K, right?

It was that time several years ago when we were all brainwashed by the media ---- Can you imagine? Those bloodsucking varmints! ---- that the world was going to fall apart because computers everywhere would crash, leaving the dead to rise from their graves, and all defaulted bank loans and credit card debts forgiven due to lost, incomprehensible "010001110111" data files.

Or something like that.

People were going nuts with worry: Will I have cell phone reception after the clock strikes midnight? Will I still be able to watch Telemundo? Can I ignore that second notice on my gas bill?

As you recall, after partying like it's 1999, we woke up on the morning of Jan. 1, 2000, with hangovers and the phone ringing:

"Hulloh ..."

"Howdy! This is Claude Buford with Discover Card collections ...."

"Darn!"

Yes, it's true. Some of us were tragically disappointed when nothing happened at the threshold of the new millennium and we all still owed somebody money and to make matters worse, we still had to head to the office on Monday.

That said, have we learned our lesson? Can we be duped again?

I ask such introspective questions because there is a small pocket of people worldwide who think the world as we know it is going to end this Tuesday on ---- don, don, donnnnnnnnnn ---- June 6, 2006, as in 6/6/06, as in 666. You know, that three-digit figure touted often in theological horror films to scare us into keeping garlic, a crucifix and a stake on hand at all times.

As I recall from Sunday school, the figure 666 is known as the "mark of the beast." Because I took turns dozing off and daydreaming shortly after taking my seat, my memory is fuzzy. I do recollect this having something to do with the world saying sayonara in an event known as the apocalypse. By the way, this term sounded funny to me at the time. It made me think of the anna-banana, Afro-Caribbean "calypso" music, with everybody dancing and having a gay ol' time.

Not quite, according to the fundamentalists who wouldn't argue that a more appropriate tune when speaking of the apocalypse, would be the theme from the "Twilight Zone."

Doo dee doo doo, doo dee doo doo ...

According to the Bible, the apocalypse is a dark and eerie event, like when you finish college knowing you have to repay all those darn student loans.

The great book warns that nobody knows when the apocalypse will occur.

But some are betting, apparently.

This "IMMEDIATE RELEASE" came in this week from BetUS.com, a gambling "entertainment" Web site:

"Six years into the 2000 millennium and we've already seen a high number of severe natural disasters and wars. Could this be a sign that the Apocalypse ---- as described by St. John in the last book of the New Testament ---- is just a week away? BetUS.com, a leading online gaming site, posted 10-1 odds that there will be an Apocalypse on 6-6-06."

The release states that gaming analysts "factored in a number of biblical and historical elements in order to arrive at their Apocalyptic betting lines." I am guessing they considered such world-changing events as the 2004 tsunami, the ongoing conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the recent DVD release of the original "Dukes of Hazzard" television series.

Man oh man, a one in 10 chance!

That's pretty close to the odds of the Southeast getting hit with a major hurricane this season, or me getting angry letters from religious folks next week.

But is this enough to send us all dashing to the mall to max out our credit cards?

Is the end of the world really at hand?

Not so fast, people.

Just how gullible are you?

Do you really believe everything the media tell you?

If so, kindly send a $100 check or money order to Visa in care of ...

Contact staff writer Louise Esola at lesola@nctimes.com.

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