Most annoying golf course behavior?

By: LOREN NELSON - Staff Writer | Sunday, June 18, 2006 3:57 PM PDT ∞

Choosing Sides: Dumbest thing to yell at a PGA event
By: MICHAEL KLITZING - Staff Writer

"It's in the hole!" I have a few friends from my college days who communicate primarily in quotes from movies or television shows. Honestly, if "Fight Club," "Family Guy" or the latest derivative drivel from Will Ferrell were erased from their memory banks, I'd fear for their ability to communicate at even a simian level.

Perhaps I'm a hypocrite for pointing this out, considering my penchant for the occasional "Big Lebowski" reference, but I think I know when to pick my spots. There are many situations in which I manage, against initial instincts, to refrain from quoting The Dude ---- or any other fictional character for that matter. They include:

At work. At church. Around family. Around strangers. At funerals. After being pulled over by the police.

Add PGA events to that list.

Imagine for just a moment: Jack Nicklaus watches his 10-foot putt on 17 roll toward the cup during the final round of the 1986 Masters. The gallery's buzz reaches a fevered pitch as the Golden Bear coolly raises his left arm, pointing his putter skyward.

Then, just before the ball drops, some trust-fund frat boy with a sideways trucker hat decides it's time to pipe up.

"It's in the hole!"

And just like that, a great moment would have been cheapened.

Memo to Generation X golf fans: When attending tour events, be sure to leave "Caddyshack" securely on your IKEA DVD rack.

It's a fine film and all, and the "It's in the hole!" scene where Carl Spackler ---- the maniac groundskeeper expertly played by Bill Murray ---- tees off on a flower bed is among its finest moments. As something to scream after Brandt Jobe tees off on a par-3, however, "It's in the hole!" is a little less appropriate.

Bill Murray as Carl Spackler is funny. Anyone else as Carl Spackler just comes across as someone trying a little too hard to be the clown of the gallery.

Clown is right.

There's often a trace of irony, too. "Caddyshack" worked because of golf's inherent class conflict ---- a blue-collar caddy against the stodgy country club establishment. Now, gallery members who rip off the Spackler line are usually people who arrived at the course in an Escalade, chomping on a $50 cigar.

While I'm not a fan of the snootiness professional golf can be known for, I also cringe when the decorum of the game is drowned out by the kind of outburst you expect to hear from the 17-year-old skaters who hang out in front of the convenience mart.

If you must yell something, at least make your one-liner a little wittier than that.

To quote Spinal Tap's David St. Hubbins, "There's a fine line between stupid and clever."

Contact staff writer Michael Klitzing at mklitzing@nctimes.com.

Yelling 'YOU DA MAN!'

Dew drips from grass that is softer than cashmere and more manicured than Catherine Zeta-Jones. The morning chatter of songbirds echoes peacefully through the pines. The sound of high-polished titanium striking dimpled plastic produces that distinctive sweet-as-sugar ping.

And then this: YOU DA MAN!

Over and over. YOU DA MAN! On every hole. YOU DA MAN! After every tee shot, even the ones headed further right than Dick Cheney. YOU DA MAN!

If you've watched a major golf tournament on television or been to one in person, you've heard these morons issue their battle cry. No doubt they'll be out en force today at Winged Foot during the final round of the U.S. Open. Keep the mute button handy.

Usually, the offenders are well lubricated and only slightly more intelligent than a sprinkler head.

But being dense is no defense for those partaking in the dumbest fan fad this side of ThunderStix. Someone needs to pull a Joe Pesci on these clowns.

Starting now, golf should outlaw cameras, cell phones, and drooling doofuses shattering the sound barrier after every shot. First knucklehead who yells "YOU DA MAN!" spends the rest of the tournament locked in the trunk of Vijay Singh's courtesy car.

When did golf fans decide it was cool to outloud each other, anyway?

As legend has it, the "YOU DA MAN!" phenomenon started in 1990 at, of all places, the Masters when a sufficiently sauced fan followed a contending Ray Floyd around Augusta, yelling those three big words after each and every shot. Not since Joan Rivers had anyone less deserving received so much TV air time.

Gas bags everywhere took notice. Obnoxious was in.

Right now, you can go online and buy "You Da Man" golf club head covers, refrigerator magnets and T-shirts. But please don't. Let's not encourage these buffoons.

"YOU DA MAN!" wasn't cool or hip or cute or the least bit funny the first time. Yet, inexplicably, it has survived all these years.

I would rather watch "Hollywood Squares" reruns, drink lighter fluid and eat thumbtacks than hear "YOU DA MAN!" bellowed once more.

So here's a final plea to all "YOU DA MAN!" blowhards out there (those who can read, anyway).

Let it go. It's had its run. Don't disrespect the words. Besides, there are other things to yell at a golf course.

Here's an idea: "IT'S IN THE HOLE!"

Contact sports editor Loren Nelson at (760) 740-3551 or lnelson@nctimes.com.

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Pre-Registration Comments[-]Go to Top

Ed wrote on Jun 18, 2006 5:24 PM:Idiots. A couple of months ago while watching a tournament, don't remember which one, on a long par 4 I heard a guy yell "In the hole" just as the golfer hit his tee shot. I bet he called his buddies and said 'hey did you hear the guy yell in the hole? that was me' 'cool huh?' It's kinda like the new buzz words 'at the end of the day'. Both of these drive me nuts.

FXC wrote on Jun 19, 2006 6:19 AM:YOU HARDLY EVER HEAR THIS AT THE LPGA.

Pazook wrote on Jun 20, 2006 6:21 AM:Moving immigrants to improve the view

Typical! wrote on Jun 20, 2006 9:44 AM:Today we have raised and created an environment of look at me! So these people have to yell out things, they have to dance at the end zone of football fields when the get a touch down and have a party every time the do the something simple on their job. That is why we don't have any real heroes that do the anything exceptional. Everything is made into a big deal, we congratulate and raise children by continually praising them for mediocrity! So now we have generation of and an established set of behavior to match it that says Yeah for me! Hay look at me I did it, I walked and chewed gum at the same tine on my own!

John wrote on Jun 21, 2006 6:52 AM:Ok enough .First of all GOLF IS A GAME,NOT A SPORT.,Secondly who dresses you guys?that should about do it.

To John wrote on Jun 22, 2006 9:48 AM:You must be a some of the types we are sick of! It is a sport!

Ron wrote on Jun 23, 2006 3:15 AM:Even worse: the idiots who yell "Get in the hole!" (pronounced "gittina hole") on every shot within 200 yards of the green. Golf is a game AND a sport, and unlike hockey, it has tradition and style. These morons spoil it.

Pittsburgh wrote on Jun 24, 2006 6:35 AM:I like to drink beer and play golf. I am not very good at the game, but I enjoy it. I hit normally in the high 80's / low 90's. I hate people who think everyone should be Tiger Woods and that you need to rush through the game. I often take friends that have never golfed before and I cannot stand when arrogant people get pushy because someone is learning. Golf is fun. I have a good time doing it, but if you want to be snobby and prudish then I suggest those people stick to their uptight club courses and leave public courses or weekends to us that play to have fun. On the other hand, I don't like the guy that gets out of hand drunk either. But, then again, there really never is a time for the out-of-hand drunk.

john wrote on Jun 25, 2006 6:49 AM:Looking back at my youth, the first job I ever had ( besides the old standby the paper route) was working on a golfcourse doing maintenance.( used to be called Sam Sneads). (Very fiew illeagels in those days).Most of the golfers would show up about 8 in the morning and begin to prime themselves for the game. By the time they teed off they could barely stand. Lots of sex on the greens and cops would show up regularily .LOL.I guess theres worse ways to spend the day.. Enjoy your game folks.Id rather fish.

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