kwerner4 wrote on Jul 27, 2006 9:39 AM:Pam I think the heat has gotten to your head. You obviously have an anger problem, just because your server said you guys. Most server's are trained by the management to introduce themselves and let the customer know they are their server for the evening. You need to take a chill pill with a cold beer and relax...

finediner wrote on Jul 27, 2006 5:29 PM:Get over yourself. What make you think your so much better than your server. Your the worst kind of person, you think were all her to serve you and if we don,t do the way you want you become a B*&@#. You sound like a real pleasue to be around. These people work hard and I'm sure they are doing their best to please you, THATS HOW THEY MAKE MONEY. TIPS!!! The last thing they want is to upset you. If you never go back because of the service or way you were treated good, then I won't ever have to hear your whining

I'm with Pam wrote on Jul 27, 2006 10:03 PM:This column should be required reading for every restaurant owner and manager. The professionalism has all but disappeared from most restaurant wait staffs. Restaurants of every price range could benefit from Pam's advice here. And the problems are not only with restaurants. Many other types of businesses have lost their professionalism with their employees who have direct contact with the public. And, I'm sorry so say, that this loss of professionalism seems to be a particular trait of San Diego County.

Bisi wrote on Aug 2, 2006 5:03 AM:I think the writer is just expressing her opinion and giving FEEDBACK . The customer is king and if a restaurant can't accomodate its diners they will run into huge problems with their customers leaving . Customers should be allowed to say what they feel about any business that they spend their money in . We know waiters make tips but they dont automatically get a tip just because they are waiting on a diner , they have to earn it otherwise they should move to another line of work .

AC of Carlsbad wrote on Aug 3, 2006 5:31 PM:In addition to Ms. Wischkaemper's list of excellent training points for any food server in any establishment (Fast Food to Five Star), I would add: Do not ask if the customer wants change back on the bill. Bring the change and trust your good service will result in a good tip. Do check a few minutes after serving food to see if everything is all right. Scan your station continuously as you go through to see if a customer has a need or a request. With this kind of service, I tip 30%!

Penny wrote on Sep 2, 2006 12:01 PM: Dear Pam, Your restaurant service article said it all. It has been posted in our restaurant our staff to read. We already implement all your points;it is nice to see them in print to validate our own rules for good service. We are open to all comments that will enable to us better serve our customers. thank you.

too good for you wrote on Feb 7, 2007 2:06 PM:You should try working in a restaurant one day. My boss would fire you if you didn't have the common courtesy to introduce yourself.

Kyle wrote on Mar 6, 2007 3:41 PM:WOW. I think people that haven't ever waited tables don't have a clue. I agree with Pam on several points and I don't believe she meant to come across as being so bitter. I have several years experience waiting tables and managing restaurants. I now sell food to many restaurants through a national distibutor. Let's go over some of her comments. 1) You shouldn't introduce yourself. That comes later. After you serve the meal and make sure there is nothing else the guest needs, you then say, "Enjoy your meal. My name is _____. Please feel free to ask for me if I don't return before you need something." 3)Unless it is someone you know very personal, never touch a guest. 4)Never kneel or sit with the guest. 5)Pam is partially right about this. There is such a thing as being to attentive. Obviously, you will be there quit often at the beginning and end of the meal. 1.drink order 2.serve drinks & get appetizer order 3.serve appetizers or salads 4.refill drinks 5.serve entrees 6.check to make sure entrees are good 7.refill drinks 8.doggy bag 9.desserts 10.present check 11.collect money. There could possibly be a few more times you would be at the table, mostly it's at the beginning and end. Once they have everything, give them plenty of time to enjoy it. Just know the body language of your guests. For what it's worth, that's my 2 cents. ENJOY YOUR MEAL!!

Lisa wrote on Sep 4, 2007 5:15 AM:I am in agreement with Kyle 100%, but would like to add one hting, which I ma certain he does. While at the table take every opporutnity to remove any plates, dishes, or other unnessary items quitely from the table, always removing from the left if possible.

rebecca wrote on Sep 4, 2007 6:40 PM:waitress every once and a while. i disagree with a lot of what you say. in the south, customers like to see their waitress at eye contact (kneeling down) and most of them dont mind a nice pat on the shoulder. i have been waiting tables for quite some time now, and i have practiced these steps frequently. i am/was the top waitress at our restaurant. it's the tight wods, and grouches like you that make all waiters/waitresses sigh with sadness when you walk in the door

Server who always says "how're you guys doing tonight?" wrote on Oct 8, 2007 1:51 PM:I think you have a serious problem and should probably not breathe air anymore. Why shouldn't every person you ever encounter be considered a friend, or a potential friend? You're probably one of those people that when asked how you're doing today replies with "I'd like a coke to drink."

amanda wrote on Nov 19, 2007 10:01 PM:As someone who worked her way through college and now graduate school as a waitress, I appreciate your comments. It's always good to get feedback from the other side of the table. I have issues with a few of your points, however; studies (including one done by the Cornell School of Business) show that some of the behaviors you hate actually result in a higher average tip. These include kneeling when talking to a guest, lightly touching guests, and introducing yourself. I think one of the keys is that waitstaff has to be skilled in reading nonverbal cues and they should not do something automatically (like introducing themselves). I tell my guests my name after they get their food; that way they know that I'm not on autopilot, and I genuinely want to know if there's anything they need. Similarly, I often very lightly touch someone as I'm giving them the check, especially if they're in a large party. I read their cues, though; I once reached over to touch a guest on his arm and he instantly recoiled. Waitstaff has to be wise about these things. I think perhaps a lot of your complaints come from receiving service from people who don't think about their service very much.

Disagree with YOU wrote on Jan 19, 2008 10:55 AM:Unless you're dining at Masa, dont expect someone to kneel at your feet...as long as the waiter brings out your food correctly and gets you everything you need,and is nice about it, shut the hell up. Youre paying for the food, if you dont approve of every minute detailed move a waiter makes, then dont tip, though you sound like a person who tips 10% anyway, so its not like they'll be missing out on anything.

Disagree wrote on Jan 19, 2008 10:58 AM:Unless you're dining at Masa, dont expect someone to kneel at your feet...as long as the waiter brings out your food correctly and gets you everything you need,and is nice about it, shut up. Youre paying for the food, if you dont approve of every minute detailed move a waiter makes, then dont tip, though you sound like a person who tips 10% anyway, so its not like they'll be missing out on anything.

nicolas wrote on Mar 9, 2008 3:03 PM:absolutely on target miss wischkaemper.i am a waiter and i disagree with most of the things they want you to say to your guest.like thanking the guest by name when returning an authorized credit card.it feels like prying when you do that and i think it is rude.if i give my credit card to a waiter and i go out a lot myself,i do not want this person to look up my name and what have you i consider it to be nosy.his job is to run the credit card and return it so i can sign it and tip him or her.i do not want them to thank me by my name.i am your waiter not your friend.nor will i be.with the type of service i provide to you.

Paul L. wrote on Mar 13, 2008 10:49 PM:You need to grow up Pam.

Blake P. wrote on Mar 24, 2008 11:47 AM: Pam! I disagree. In fact, as stated before, there's a guideline that has to be followed as a waiter in most restaurants. One of them happens to be introducing yourself. I believe you're taking the job title to a ridiculous level. You're attitude towards the working class makes us seem like untouchables. We're not diseased; we're simply working, and sometimes like to be friendly. One could only hope that something would happen one day to leave you on the other side, as a restaurant worker. And as for jerking away from being touched by your waiter/waitress. If one day, you were struggling and needed help, I hope you would find comfort in knowing that this worker is one more person that would pass you by. Build relationships, don't deter them. You never know when that person might be in a position to help you.....or not

Danielle wrote on May 6, 2008 10:11 AM:Obviously PAM don't know anything about waiting tables. I am a waitress and have been for 4 years now. I am a very good waitress....I know this because my guests let me know this and my tips are great. It's people like you Pam who make our job difficult. We are trained to introduce ourselves....It beats being called "Hey"! I hate being called "Hey You". That's so disrespectful. If we don't go to check on our tables, then they may complain to the manager. I've gone to check on my tables and they have said everything was good until the end when I give them the bill. Then they want to complain. My guest appreciate the fact that I introduce myself and go check on them. I like when they call me by my name. I feel better about my job. I never touch my guest and I never kneel. However, some people do it when they've been working hard all day or night long waiting on people. Some women do it when we cramp. It's not to belittle. I sometimes refer to my guests at "guys" when there are a lot at the table. Like I said, it's not to belittle anyone. We live in the south! Think about this Pam...If you want your waiter/waitress to respect you, then respect your waiter. Do you actually think we're going to be the best waiter to YOU if you talk to us like we don't know how to do our job? We hear things that our tables say and it's ridiculous sometimes. Let me tell you some more things that customers shouldn't do....Don't come with a lot of kids who make messes and only leave $2.00 for a tip. We have to clean that mess up for nothing. We'd rather throw the money back at you. You should at least tip 15-20%. If you don't know what it is, then use the calculator on your cell phone. We don't get paid but $2 by the hour. We are working hard to take care of our children and to keep a roof over our head! If we know that you're not going to tip, we'd rather give the table over to someone else. If you don't have enough money to tip then don't come eat out. We work hard and have to deal with your attitudes and messy kids. We have kids trying to talk over parents and they don't even stop the kids...It's crazy! So there's a lil bit of information for you Pam.

lynn wrote on May 24, 2008 7:18 AM:It is Memorial Day weekend in my little resort town and the tourists have descended! After years of sabbatical at a "real job" I am working in a local hotel dining room tonight. It is an interesting perspective after being an "executive customer" for so many years. I don't feel this is a step down in my professional standing- I always took the profession of waitering seriously... You know, "Anything worth doing, is worth doing well." Having said that I agree it is simply not good manners to call people you do not know "guys". Perhaps regionally this matters, but I'll venture a guess it has more to do with age. Now in my 40's it makes me wonder that the 20-somethings don't seem to notice that overly familiar behavior is not always approriate- and that "you guys" belongs in that category! Calm, professional and respectful treatment is required on both the part of the customer and the waiter. And I will agree with many of the comments- Pam needs to understand that many waitstaff are trained to say and do things counter to their better judgment and that their job may hang in the balance. Be cool, Pam, be cool. Thank you for the conservative point of view- I appreciate it.