Ben wrote on Sep 21, 2006 5:16 AM:Again, in this article by our ever courageous NCT staff writters, there is no call or question asking why the American Muslim communities do not stand up and make it very clear that terrorism is wrong. This article does is quote them as saying that there are leaders who have come out against 9/11. And then they blame the media bias for the misunderstanding! Hog wash! The media, at least the NCTimes have never made any effort, at least in their reporting to put this religion on the spot to take a stand againt terrorism! The NCTimes again disapoints as does the Muslim community for not taking a very public and loud stand against terrorism!

James wrote on Sep 21, 2006 7:26 AM:Damage control, damage control. THat is what this article is all about. I have spent over 20 years living and working in the middle east, and I can state without reservation that articlew is 100% false. Under sharia law women are treated as furniture, they are thought of and treated as possessions by their husbands and fathers. The person who wrote this article is truly the "ignorant" one here. As for the lady that was interviewed, she obviously has a great life here in America, I can state without a doubt that it is not the same one she would have in the middle east.

hogwash wrote on Sep 21, 2006 8:24 AM:What total hogwash! I married a muslim man and went to live in Saudi Arabia, the most horrible experience of my life. I never had contact with the western world, just other saudis, namely women. They lead horrible lifes being dictated to by any male member of the household. How come these women didn't discuss how in islam a man can marry up to 4 women. for him, divorcing one is by throwing 3 stones and saying i divorce you 3 times. The woman has to go court and have witnesses. In the court of law, for every man that testifies, it takes two women. So please explain further how women in islam are equal?

Muslim life for women in the USA wrote on Sep 21, 2006 10:51 AM:...is vastly different than Muslim life in the middle east. The only way these women can speak out about ANYTHING is because they live here. They would never be granted permission to have any kind of intelligent discourse like this in their own country.

American wife of a Muslim wrote on Sep 21, 2006 11:22 AM:Even here in the US it's no bed of roses for Muslim women. Muslim women are expected to serve and demure to their husbands and his family--his word is law. His relatives visit for months at a time. A wife is expected to make a big dinner if friends or family drop by unannounced, and keep the tea poured and her mouth shut. There is no privacy--your business is the family's business. You can't go where you want to go or wear what you want to wear.

Tehseen wrote on Sep 21, 2006 11:28 AM:Your article on the Women in Islam panel discussion was very well written and reflected much of what was discussed at the event. While Islam has given women many rights, many so-called "Muslim" countries are NOT giving women these full rights. So if someone had a negative experience in Saudi Arabia, they should not blame Islam for it but rather they should blame that country's interpretation and implementation of Islam. We have seen extremists in all religions take verses from holy texts and blow them out of proportion. As for terrorism, American Muslims are always condemning it. And that includes all the imams (Muslim leaders) in San Diego. I encourage readers to visit the following website to learn about how Muslims are condemning acts of terrorism: ... (Council on American Islamic Relations). I also encourage readers to visit ... (Washington Report on Middle East Affairs) to learn about the real situation in the Middle East. Unfortunately we are just seeing half the story on our news channels today. We cannot judge a population of 1.5 Billion based on the acts of a few. There are radicals in all religions. Let's focus on the mainstream and we will see that we all have so much in common: Truth, Justice, Freedom, and Peace.

Hibah wrote on Sep 21, 2006 12:51 PM:While the article accurately gave tidbits of the event, the key point of the event itself was to make it clear that much of what is seen in the behavior by Muslims worldwide today against women directly opposes what the basic Islamic teachings are and how. Instead of doing 'damage control' or paint a 'bed of roses', the point was to give the Islamic criterion by which to evaluate what is happening to Muslim women worldwide as well as what we see and hear in the media. The panelists very frankly addressed many topics not mentioned in the article due to space limitations. Most of the commentary on this article so far reflects observation of misogyny and male chauvinism (which is universal) with no discernment for what is culture, religion, or a blending of the two. The audience members walked away better able to do this and I encourage all to put themselves in a position to do so as well. And yes, we do have in a great life here, many of us being the daughters of America. This is our homeland and there's no need for us to go elsewhere. Secular America upholds many Islamic freedoms better than the so-called Islamic countries do.

Mary wrote on Sep 21, 2006 1:35 PM:About two years ago on a Friday evening I was shopping at Costco and I noticed a family also shopping there where the women was dressed head to toe in a black burka that only had a slit for her eyes. I assume it was a women only because the man was dressed in western slacks and shirt and the toddler male child was dressed in western style kids clothes. It felt very eerie to be with someone that you could not judge their facial expression. I have never seen them there again. Except for being about 5 foot 4 inches in height, Osma Bin Laden himself could have been under that burka. My tolerance of their religion stops with the covered faces of their women. Head scarves ok, but covered faces are not acceptable.

Alright.. wrote on Sep 21, 2006 1:40 PM:so there is a core difference between Muslims living in the U.S. and Radical Muslims or call them Islamic Facists. One appears to follow Live and let Live while the latter is bent on Live and let Die.. for Allah. Get it together you Muslims. Stand up for what is wrong and completely bassackwards in your so-called leaders.

Concerned Sister wrote on Sep 21, 2006 2:36 PM:I agree with Tehseen. When people have negative expereinces or harsh treatments whether it be in the Middle East, Asia, Africa, or America, people's attention need to be on that individual not the whole religion. People at times bring in their cultural traditions and mix it into the religion of Islam. One must be careful and study what the correct teachings of Islam are. As a muslim woman, I feel confidant about my identity and faith.

Serena wrote on Sep 21, 2006 2:45 PM:You cannot judge any religion by the actions of its followers. Islam doesn't teach terrorism and Muslims are strongly against terrorism and terrorists! Muslims speak out against these actions on a DAILY BASIS! So what exactly do you expect us to do? Even if every Muslim in the US participated in a demonstration against terrorism... I seriously doubt that those who criticize and accuse us of not taking a stand against terrorism would be satisified. Islam does teach that women are equal with men. God gave women rights in Islam, rights that women (even Christians and Jews) did not have before Islam. It would be asinine to pretend that Muslim women's rights aren't being violated in other [Muslim} countries (such as Saudi Arabia, as a previous reviewer mentioned). However, if men deny women their God-given rights in Islam - then they will have to answer to Him for their actions. I'm an American Muslim who reverted to Islam from Christianity. My husband treats me better and gives me more respect than even my own father and brothers have given me. He is an excellent father and husband. He gives me my rights and I give him his rights. There are bad apples in every group. I'm not saying all Muslim men are as respectable as my husband. However, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that the best of men are those that are good to their wife. I encourage everyone (including ignorant Muslims) to educate themselves about the true teachings of Islam from those who have real knowledge about Islam (not your average Joe-schmo or the media). Islam is a beautful religion and a complete way of life.

Muslema wrote on Sep 21, 2006 3:33 PM:Some of the negative remarks made to this article are reflective of the fact that we need to have more interfaith forums like this in order to clear the ignorance. I also have lived in the Middle East, and found women involved at a great many levels of private and public life. As a Muslim woman, I personally do public speaking here in America, and I did it while overseas as well, to audiences of both men and women. Needless to say, those in troubled marriages should not blame the religion of their spouse, but perhaps get counseling. The Imam at the local Islamic Center of San Diego provides marriage counseling by appointment. You might be surprised to find that Islamic religious teachings are at odds with the behaviors that have been described in the comments. It would be unfair to blame Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or Buddhism for the mistakes of some husbands and/or wives who belong to those religions. I am happily married to a Muslim man, and I believe that Islam is the core of our success as a married couple. As for those who want the Muslim community to take a stand against terrorism, the stand has already been taken, and continues to be taken through various programs and activities, including this one. Those who can't see it, choose not to see it. Open-mindedness is not just a passive quality one possesses, but it's a choice one is able to make. If more people can CHOOSE to be open-minded, this world would be a better place. I applaud the writer of this article and the North County Times for choosing to give the mainstream Muslim voices the media attention that is much needed in producing a more educated and informed America.

Anne wrote on Sep 21, 2006 3:51 PM:I am a 25-year-old American who converted to Islam about 3 years ago. I converted by my own free will, and all practices I've adopted (including dress) have been of my own volition as well. In fact, my husband wasn't too crazy about the idea of me wearing the scarf initially. I am not oppressed. I don't have to ask my husband to leave home. My husband doesn't tell me how to dress or who I can keep as a friend. What I find oppressive is people who know nothing about Islam telling me what my life is like according to their social experiences or what they heard from a friend. Perhaps it never occured to any of you that a Muslim woman could actually be content with her role in her family, her society, and her religion. Please learn something about our religion before you tell us what our lives are supposedly like.

Ahmad wrote on Sep 21, 2006 3:59 PM:As a Muslim man, I have a great responsiblity towards my wife and my family. Under Islam the roles and responsibilities of men and women are not equal. I am financially responsible for my family regardless of the circumstances. As a man I have to pay my wife a dowry to marry HER. If there is a divorce there is a signifigant amount of money that I would have to pay HER. That is probably why the rules for divorce are different for men and women. If my wife works what she makes is HERS. What I make Islamically is OURS. If we truly lived this Islamic concept in America, the phenomenoa of the "Deadbeat Dad" would simply not exist.

Dug wrote on Sep 21, 2006 4:21 PM:Tge article is not about Islam, or Muslims, nor women's rights, nor children's rights. It is Modernism pure and simple. It is just about the same thing you may hear in a Methodist Church or a Unitarian Church. Get Real, read the sad newspapers. Read the Koran. Take a look at what is really happening. This artical is hogwash. And the reporter aught to take a shower.

muslimah wrote on Sep 21, 2006 4:29 PM: Muslim stereotypes are perpetuated in every form of the media accompanied by gross misinformation about Islam and Muslims. In fact, such misinformation and false propaganda often leads to discrimination and acts of violence against Muslims. A case in point is the anti-Muslim campaign in the American media following the Oklahoma bomb blast, where the press was quick to declare a Middle Eastern conspiracy behind the attack. The culprit was later identified as a soldier from the American Armed Forces. Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. The Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God. more info. just go here. ...

american muslim wrote on Sep 21, 2006 4:31 PM:Muslim stereotypes are perpetuated in every form of the media accompanied by gross misinformation about Islam and Muslims. In fact, such misinformation and false propaganda often leads to discrimination and acts of violence against Muslims. A case in point is the anti-Muslim campaign in the American media following the Oklahoma bomb blast, where the press was quick to declare a Middle Eastern conspiracy behind the attack. The culprit was later identified as a soldier from the American Armed Forces. Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God. If you would like to learn more about Islam feel free to visit this website: ...

american muslim wrote on Sep 21, 2006 4:36 PM: Muslim stereotypes are perpetuated in every form of the media accompanied by gross misinformation about Islam and Muslims. In fact, such misinformation and false propaganda often leads to discrimination and acts of violence against Muslims. A case in point is the anti-Muslim campaign in the American media following the Oklahoma bomb blast, where the press was quick to declare a Middle Eastern conspiracy behind the attack. The culprit was later identified as a soldier from the American Armed Forces. Despite the actions of some - who go against the teachings of Islam - Islam is a religion of peace; the word "islam" means "peace through submission to God." "Muslim" means "one who submits to God." Islam is the third of the three Abrahamic faiths, and it shares much with Judaism in Christianity; its differences are the acceptance of Muhammad as the last and final prophet, and the oneness of God - in other words, that Jesus, though he was a revered prophet, was not in fact God, and only one God exists. Apparently the Taliban could not read (though their name means "students"), because the Qur'an states that men and women are equal as believers, and that all believers should be educated and seek knowledge. Modesty in dress and behavior is required in Islam for both men and women to preserve the values of society and move the emphasis from superificial appearance to intelligence, knowledge, and God. If have any questions about Islam, feel free to visit this site. ... It has reliable information. insha Allah..

Nina wrote on Sep 21, 2006 4:59 PM:Previous comment: "My tolerance of their religion stops with the covered faces of their women. Head scarves ok, but covered faces are not acceptable." There's a difference of opinion amongst Muslim scholars regarding the issue of a woman covering her face and not covering her face. If your tolerance of a religion ends because of a woman's choice (and granted in some countries there is no choice) to cover her face- then you truly have no tolerance for the religion whatsoever. Islam isn't just about what a woman or a man cannot do... as another poster mentioned, Islam is a complete way of life! Ask many women here in the US who cover their faces whether they like it or not. 99% of them will tell you covering their face was their OWN choice/decision. They weren't told by anyone that they HAVE to cover their face. Many of the women who observe the full face cover are American converts!!! I used to cover my face, but for my own personal reasons stopped. So the next time you see one of these Sisters covered from head to toe - try not to judge them and hold such contempt. It's their choice, it's their decision. And I assure you, 99.9% of the time it's definitely a woman under there. Men, while they too have dress codes in Islam, are prohibitted from resembling or dressing like women. Only disturbed people like Michael Jackson use Muslim attire to hide themselves. PS. Even the Bible commands women to cover their heads! If you read the Bible, you would know that!

Mary wrote on Sep 21, 2006 6:56 PM:To Nina - God gave us faces to express our feelings. When a person is dressed from head to toe in what is essentially a box, there is no way to see their facial expression. Communication is the beginning of understanding. I just wanted any muslim who was reading these postings to know why at least this non-muslim finds being around someone who is completely covered uncomfortable. By the way, the Bible and the Koran were written by men to record history and to justify the then current power structure. God speaks to us through the democratic process not a book written by mortal men. That is why when the Republicans stole the 2000 presidentail election they literally thrawted the word of God by stealing the election from Al Gore. That is why we are all in the mess we are in now. Christians think they are for democracy, but only if everyone votes their way. At least Muslims are honest about their distrust of democracy. None of us has perfect knowledge, but the way we get closest to perfect knowledge is by an informed dialog that leads to a decision by a demcratic vote. It is not perfect, but it is the best we can do in this life. Religion sounds good until you get around religious people. Then watch out. Does not matter which religion - it is all bad for your health.

MuslimWomanbyChoice wrote on Sep 21, 2006 10:19 PM:What does society expect from Muslims?? Islam is being held up to a microscope and picked apart. We could look at any religion and find faults and points that may enrage us or make us angry. There are a million injustices going on around this planet and I would be willing to wager that most of them are not being commited by Muslims! Let's start pointing the finger elsewhere! Believe me leaders of this country have plenty to answer for. It may tick you off and you may not like it but I am a Muslim. I chose it over American pop culture. I don't wear a face covering but I'd wear that before I'd be cought dead in clothing that can't even be classified as such. So what if a woman is not dressed as a Westerner and her husband and kids are. That seems like an issue of feeling superior to other cultures. Do you think everyone must dress like you to qualify? Yep...we Muslims are here...like it or not...and we are not going to give up our customs, beliefs and practices just to please egocentric people. Look at these ugly and distasteful posts. Here these women put themselves out there to try and share a little of Islam-to try and bridge the gap. And, these are the responses? Pleaseeee.....

Concerned wrote on Sep 22, 2006 8:47 AM:To muslim by choice: Let's see TWA crash in Europe, 72 Olympics, First trade center, embassy in Africa, Africa in general...Oh I forgot one 9-11! Where DO we point the finger? We point it where it belongs: Islamic Jihad. You may be here now, but you are not welcome and I strongly suggest you move to a country that better reflects your views....how about Afghanistan?

Concerned wrote on Sep 22, 2006 9:00 AM:I just went back and read these comments again and I have to say I'm apalled. First I noticed my comments from the 21st were absent. Too radical for you Ed? I'm just saying what a lot of us feel. The muslim community can not be trusted. They do not speak out against their so-called Jihad. They make no effort to conform. They lie with straigh faces over and over again. I am now fully Islamaphobic, and I'm not alone.

As much as I enjoyed reading this article, wrote on Sep 22, 2006 10:14 AM:I was amazed to see the many negative responses to it. Ironically, these negative responses are not directed towards the article but rather towards the religion of Islam. As a student of the major religions of the world, I can easily say that most of these responses reflect deep ignorance mixed with a lot of hatred towards Islam. I’d advice the writers of those responses not to swallow every plate the Media or the Bush administration serve to them, and rather have a more objective and fair look at things.

Concerned wrote on Sep 22, 2006 10:25 AM:To Enjoyed: It's not that we are swalloing the media or bush rhetoric. It's what is evident in the words and actions of the muslim community. But I'm sure you know more because you are a student of the major religions...hmmm real world vs books.

To concerned wrote on Sep 22, 2006 11:06 AM:I read your comments and frankly your arguments are laughable. I can give you a big list of all kind of evil acts conducting by “Christians”, “Catholics”, or “Jewish” people (real world not books). Not only that, but I can also quote you so many verses from both the Old and New Testament that can support the ideology behind such evil acts, so it is not categorized under “isolated incidents”. However, I don’t see this as an objective way of judging those communities. But why bother explaining that to you, you are fully Islamophobic…have a good day.

ProudMuslimAmerican wrote on Sep 22, 2006 12:23 PM:I am a Muslim and I use every opportunity I get to condemn any acts of terrorism whether they are conducted by a Muslim or a non-Muslim, inside America or abroad. I believe in equal human rights for people of all faiths whether men or women. I can quote a number of real life examples which can portray non-Muslim American women as oppressed and victimised at the hands of their husbands/boyfriends but that would be unfair because bad examples exist in all cultures & societies and one cannot put the blame on an entire society for the wrongdoings of a few rogue individuals or factions.

Concerned wrote on Sep 22, 2006 1:30 PM:To ProudMuslimAmerican: I think you will find that a little of that will go a long way. Good words. For Enjoy: and the rhetoric goes on. Action, not words, will prevail. You have a good day as well.

Muslim Marine wrote on Sep 22, 2006 8:33 PM:Frankly I am not surprised by the some of the ignorant comments on this page. Fanatics from all religions have been killing in name of God for centuries. Hate crimes occur daily around world but the only difference is Christian leaders are not expected speak out every time some skin heads, KKK types, or Neo Nazis go out and kill some one because most people are smart enough to know they don’t represent all Christians., just as Al Qaida does not represent all Muslims. I myself never blamed the Pope for violence committed by the IRA and feel it is ridiculous to expect some Iman or other Muslim leaders to hold a press conference after every bombing, shooting or kid napping committed by these maniacs. Every where I look people falsely proclaim that the Muslim community never denounces these horrible acts. The fact is they do here and all around world but they do not have the huge western media machine backing their cause. I find it discourging that in this article Muslim women are speaking out for thier cause and with the exception of a few postive remarks, all they got for coming forward is more grief and neagtive feed back. Most Muslims are peaceful and like most other peaceful people in the world (Christians and Jews alike) have lives to live and choose to focus on living them and facing the every day struggles of doing such. Slandering Islam and innocent Muslims will only further stir the waters of intolerance and discontent. Furthermore it does not contribute increased troops, or intelligence to find the enemy where they hide or provide an effective solution to counter the teachings and propaganda spread by extremist to justify their cause.

MuslimWomanbyChoice wrote on Sep 22, 2006 10:14 PM:To concerned: I won't be going to any other country because I am an American woman born and raised in the U.S. Perhaps, you should consider going to another planet because on this planet we have diversity-sorry you can't deal with that fact. You have a paper bag on your head if you expect Muslims to continue apologizing when grave atrocities are continuing in Iraq. Muslims do not have to conform to a secular way of life and frankly, secular society has nothing to brag about. There is no such thing as Islamic Jihad! That is a term emposed by the media. But, you will not find it in the Quran. Get your facts straight.

Sam wrote on Sep 23, 2006 1:33 PM:I have visited the Middle East several times, and although I have seen some women not treated as well as I think they should be, for the most part one can make the argument that their treatment of women is better than in the US. How many cases of rape, domestic violence, molestation, violent pornography, and sexual harassment are found in the US compared to other countries around the world? With the same flawed logic of many commenters, one can say that since this is a predominantly Christian nation, most Christians engage in or support rape, domestic violence, molestation, violent pornography, and sexual harassment. Of course, we all know this to be untrue and simplistic, however why do we fall in the same trap when we look at the Muslim world? We should not look at the highly publicized cases of mistreatment, but look at the religion itself. I researched that in Islam, women had rights 1300 years before Western countries gave us the right to inheritance, earnings, divorce, and voting. In the 18th century, the Church was still debating whether or not women had souls!! So please, before falling into the trap that our sensationalistic media has set for us, try to find out the truth for yourselves, and don't judge a people by the actions of a few uneducated, misguided people. Otherwise you might find yourself on the defense with that same flawed logic.

John wrote on Sep 25, 2006 5:32 AM:Maby one or more of you Muslim folks can explain this well known fact. Why is it that anywere the Islamic relegion bumps against another relegion or culture on this planet, there is war or strife?

Concerned wrote on Sep 25, 2006 1:39 PM:Gee with this paper bag over my head I can't see a darn thing. I guess I'll just wait for all the good, peace loving, muslims to step up and straigthen this out...Hmmm, maybe I should hold my breath too!

Simple wrote on Sep 26, 2006 4:58 PM:If you believe in any type of god you are a simple minded fool. We are here by chance and when you die you will rot like everyone that has died before you. To believe otherwise is naive.

WOW wrote on Sep 26, 2006 5:17 PM:The reason why you don't see much of Muslims standing against "terrorism" is that (here it is again) media coverage, etc. bias in such obvious ways that "Bad Muslims" make the front page, and then the ones who stand up and and say it is wrong make page 60-63. I don't know what it is with you people, these racist comments only add to your image. I thank SAM for mentioning that, because I am 20, a proud Muslim, and I've recently chosen to wear the hijab for liberating purposes. Wearing BabyPhat and Victorias Secret, doing hair and wearing clothes that nearly show anything & everything God gives you; only leads to putting a woman in a man's world of choice and acceptance. I'd rather be accepted for my mind and intellect and not the curves of my body, and not attract one of the many rapists in America who's population make up more than "terrorists" overseas. "Offshore terrorism does not begin to compare to the threat of home grown terrorism (crime) in America in statistics, barbarism, horror, death count, injury to Americans or cost of the war."

HAFIFA TO BEN wrote on Sep 26, 2006 5:25 PM:I don't know if you'll be able to read this, but one thing's sure; that you are relying on this too much to satisfy what you are looking for. Really, like what was mentioned before, that there are countless demonstartions and protests from Muslim leaders, students and Americans everywhere denouncing this "Islamic Terrorism". I'm inviting you to take advantage of the many seminars around the area, and you will find, the truth of what it is that TRUE Muslims believe in, and that these should not reflect what those extremist and radical and corrupt leaders of so called Muslim countires. When the KKK claimed terrorist attacks and used Christianity as their main theme, what are they considered now? History will always repeat itself, and people, cruel and inhumane people, find ways to target "enemies" and put a face to them that are basically stereotypical and racist. Then the whole of the kind will be labeled in that way, that other's opinions don't count. Why listen to biased people, who are so obviously so racist they don't have any lagit statements to prove their "creative ideas"?

gina wrote on Jan 20, 2007 12:02 PM:I think muslims have a worse misconception about the west, especially America as Americans have of them....What a shame

Rachel wrote on Nov 27, 2007 9:25 PM: I'm a young American girl, and proud to be American. I'm just learning about the Muslim world, and not through school, books, or the news. I learned everything in a way which you call "the hard way". I was very young when I moved out of my parents house, which lead me to become a stripper to survive. The money was great but it killed me. I came home crying every night to my own house alone and well over 1,600 dollars in my pocket. I met this guy from Morrocco. A suni muslim, I dated him for over a year and a half...I couldn't go to lunch with my girl friends that I went to high school with, I couldn't go out with out him (which was ok with me), I ate when he ate, I ate what he ate, I got yelled at one time cuz I trimmed my hair, any time I went anywhere if I walked ahead of him cuz I was excited to go shopping at the mall, he would throw a fit and say, "why don't you act like you have a man?" and then we would hurry and get in the car and go home cuz, "I can't take you out in public, you embarass me"....or the "your wearing too much make up, your not a stripper anymore so don't act like you miss it." and what broke us up, was the fact that I went to new york, and I missed my flight from where I live to there in new york because I spent the night with him that night, and so I didn't get to my destination till 6 o'clock the next morning, slept all day and then called him, according to him I went to new york to meet a guy...no I went to see my friend that's getting married. but I did find a guy...shortly there after. His mother is Iraqi, his father is Egyptian, and he's going to school with his first cousin who is also Iraqi but he looks white and he's christian. This guy, is going to school for polatics, loves Bush, is against taking the soldiers out or Iraq, and he grew up there!!!! But he lives well there...his mother I hink is a news caster, and his dad does something cool too. I hear so many stories about Iraq and what it was like in 2003...There are the "bad apples", like my ex...but then when you hear from an Iraqi of all these stories....all muslims there, suni and sheiit, want jobs to feed their children and wifes, to make money for their family to have spending money!!!!! The true muslims that are right in the middle of this war...are mostly thanking GOD for us Americans!!!! Shame on you all who degrade them....the ones who don't know anything about rules and democracy are the ones who live farther away from the middle east and they are the ones who should be responsible for the "controlling"...I dated a few!!! and the only ones who are gratefull to be here, are the ones who are right in the middle of this stupid WAR!!!