Victor wrote on Feb 13, 2007 12:08 AM:Finally, someone got it right- it's the parents' job to raise the kids, not societys.

Randy wrote on Feb 13, 2007 3:02 AM:What if the parents are irresponsible and abandon the children as they search for self-fulfillment and personal happiness? What if the children are stubborn and rebellious?

James wrote on Feb 13, 2007 6:48 AM:This sort of permissiveness is one of the many things that make california the laughing stock, not the leader, of the nation. Everywhere you go you will find that this state is ridiculed for it's inept government and lifestyle.

GFN wrote on Feb 13, 2007 7:19 AM:Thank you, Mr. Feller for a well thought out and written article which is a wonderful blueprint on how to raise respectable children...a great long-term solution. I will copy it, follow it, and share it with others I believe will benefit from it. Now, what does the City of Oceanside do to cure the current gang problems caused by families who didn't follow your sage advice?

atheist wrote on Feb 13, 2007 7:26 AM:Jack Feller can raise all his children according to Christianity and the Bible. I highly resent him suggesting as he does that everyone use this ancient book of superstitions to bring up their children. I have raised 3 children who have thankfully never bought into these ghost stories from sheep herders of two thousand years ago. Muslims and Christians alike cause way more problems than they solve. The earth would be much more peaceful if these stories were relegated to what they are - ancient myths of early humanity. Mr. Feller should become a minister if that is his calling, instead of mayor of a large diverse community.

Janet wrote on Feb 13, 2007 7:30 AM: Randy- maybe there should be a clause before the parents’ receive their WIC, Medical and welfare checks they should enroll in parenting, civic and birth control classes and attend them on a weekly basis. If the parents don't attend or participate the checks should dry out. I can assure you that parental participation would go up to 100%.

Jason wrote on Feb 13, 2007 7:34 AM:AMEN brother Feller!!! About time someone calls on the parents BS..

joaquin wrote on Feb 13, 2007 9:09 AM:Thank you Jack Feller for saying what needs to be said. Ten minutes of the Grammy's was enough for me -- it appears that the human trash of the world haven taken over as the major influences on our children. My children are grown and gone and thankfully they are modern winners in a world of modern losers. I chalk that up to my willingness to say No! to bad decisions and habits when they were learning how to cfope with an increasingly permissive society. Keep up the good work Jack!

Thank you, Jack... wrote on Feb 13, 2007 10:07 AM:NOT!!! Although you point out the obvious, and good parenting may prevent indoctrination of future gang members, it does nothing to address how to handle those already out there...its too late for parents to send the little creeps to etiquette classes. What I want from City Leaders is to address the current problem. Sure parents are to blame, but to smuggly restate the obvious does not absolve the city from taking action to protect us. Do your job, Mr. Feller, or find another line of work when you come up for reelection!

parents here illegally wrote on Feb 13, 2007 12:31 PM:Not all gang members are illegal aliens or children of illegal aliens, but a significant number are. Parents with an elementary education or less and no command of the English language and little knowledge of this country's culture and values cannot provide the support and training necessary for their child to become a functioning member of American society. As long as we continue to allow people to arrive unscreened into this country, we should continue to expect their children to join gangs.

To Janet and Jason wrote on Feb 13, 2007 4:11 PM:When I was in my teens, and quite rebelious, my parents had more options in how to put a stop to it. Some of the things that were done are illegal now. When parents have the law taking away their options, and hot-head people who spout off their advice, I would like to see these pompous BSasses get in the thick of it and not break the law. I say, get in here and help or shut your mouths. It is easy to criticize from the sidelines, isn't it?

BRUJO DE OCEANSIDE wrote on Feb 13, 2007 4:20 PM:We cannot fine tune our local society by turning one button at a time -- we must attack in every direction, and we must attack with victory as our guide. Jack Feller's approach is not singleminded -- he also understands that we must put more cops on the street and declare each and every neigborhood a no gang area. The root causes of gang membership must be eradicated and punishment for transgressions must be swift and comensurate with the crime. And finally, somehow, somehow, we must eliminate the drug culture which finances the gangs. Go after them Jack.

Ken wrote on Feb 13, 2007 8:31 PM:Cop killers, gang members, teen driver hitting and killing a fellow student. What all three of these have in common is that they all had responses that blamed parents and they all had a high percentage of comments blaming almost everything and anyone EXCEPT the person who actually committed the crime.

Missing a huge element wrote on Feb 13, 2007 9:09 PM:Jack, as always, missed the most important element here- parents who don't have all the resources that he might have- Parents may need parenting classes, daycare assistance, etc. while they are earning just enough to get by..or is he recommending mandatory sterlization for those with no health insurance and minimum wage jobs? C'mon Jack..the bible isn't going to help people who are struggling to make ends meet..they need real help besides your holier than though attitude.

Janet wrote on Feb 13, 2007 9:28 PM: I have 3 teenagers and I take care of them. It is my responsibility to know their whereabouts. I am not on welfare or on crack and I know where my kids are at all times. It takes a lot of time and dedication try 24 hours a day. Why should I help raise your kids?

To Janet and Jason wrote on Feb 14, 2007 6:11 AM:"Janet", because you and many others just seem to love to ladle out blame without knowledge or facts of a given situation, that's why. Many parents are not as perfect as you and this drone that "it's the parents fault" is changing from nasty to DAMNED HURTFUL. Did you ever sneak out without your parents' knowledge? Did you ever lie to your parents? Do you have bars on their windows and all windows and doors or time-tracking sensors to detect if they open a window or door at night? Do you walk with your 3 teenagers every second of every day? How do you divide yourself 3 ways, and be able to do anything else? I find your assertion that you know where all 3 of your teens are 24/7 hard to believe.