Keep prom memories pleasant, not painful

By: Dennis M. Clausen - Commentary | Sunday, April 8, 2007 8:16 PM PDT ∞

It will soon be prom time and everywhere in the North County students will be preparing for that peculiar rite of passage many of us still remember from our own teenage years. Radios will blare out announcements regarding area high school proms. In the downtown shops and at the malls, teenagers will be trying on tuxedos or gowns.

Even though I am more than four decades removed from my last prom, I can assure today's teenagers that it has always been a special time. It has also been a time when young people often feel a bit more invincible, a time when the tragedies of life seem distant and remote.

My most memorable prom was one I did not attend. I was still too young. It was spring of 1957, and I was in the eighth grade. However, in our small town, the junior and senior high schools shared the same buildings. I overheard many conversations regarding who was taking whom to the prom, what kind of dresses the girls were going to wear and all the other customary teenage chatter.

High school proms that year had received a huge boost in popularity because of the singer Marty Robbins' song, "A White Sports Coat and a Pink Carnation." The song, which described the lonely heartache of a young man who did not have a date for the prom, played constantly on local radio stations. I heard the song so often I memorized the lyrics.

The evening of the prom, I was walking home when I passed some people who had gathered on the sidewalk. I heard them say something about a "terrible accident" that had just occurred. When I arrived home, I turned on the radio and heard the announcer describe a "tragic car accident that took the life of a young Morris girl who was on her way to the prom." As I listened to the radio for the next few hours, I was able to put together most of what had happened.

The prom committee that year had decided to hold the traditional supper in a neighboring small town. Afterward the students drove back to the dance. Apparently on the way, one of the students made an unsafe attempt to pass another car. There was a head-on collision, and the young woman in the passenger seat, his prom date, was killed. The prom was canceled, and that group of graduating seniors had one very painful memory they would carry through life.

In the days that followed, Marty Robbins' song continued to play on the radio. To most of us, the meaning of that song had changed forever. We knew we would associate it with one thing, and that was the tragic death of a classmate. When we walked past the lot where the tow truck had left what remained of the wrecked car, we paused in stunned silence and disbelief.

I don't want to put a damper on the excitement that is building in the North County as students prepare for their proms. But I do want to urge them to be careful. Proms should be special events that they remember as times of great joy. Proms should not trigger difficult and painful memories every time a certain song plays on an oldies station.

Please drive carefully.

Escondido resident Dennis M. Clausen is a freelance columnist for the North County Times.