Latest 'Pirates' another sail into creative abyss

By: DAN BENNETT - Staff Writer | Wednesday, May 23, 2007 12:07 PM PDT ∞

Like so many vessels lost in the Bermuda Triangle, the time we've spent in the three "Pirates of the Caribbean" films will never be recovered. Such is the occasional melancholy of life on the high seas, and in the multiplex.

Again refusing to adopt the creative strategies of the superior Harry Potter films, the latest in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series again goes adrift, awash in its relentless presentation of special effects and makeup without adequate hints of cohesive storytelling, emotional impact and intelligent discourse. All we get is the infrequent morsel of an amusing retort or inside joke, and such meager rations create instincts for mutiny.

The story continues, and it remains a puzzle of multiple motivations and endless backtracking, like one of those children's games they hand out with the placemats at Denny's, the kind only a 4-year-old can complete. Trying to figure out exactly what is happening and why in these Pirates films can bring out the slow rage in our inner mangy dog.

We know that Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) is now heartless ---- literally ---- and bereft of power, and that Captain Jack (Johnny Depp) is stuck in Davy's Locker, living some kind of existential nightmare. In fact, Jack's entrapment in this weird world enjoys some coy Fellini-esque references that almost makes things bearable for the post-tween set, but they don't last long.

Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) are all intent on rescuing Jack, despite his frequent shortcomings and overall strangeness, but face challenges in both the omnipresent government meanies and a Singaporean gang of ragtags. To figure out how they got involved, instant replay would have been helpful.

The struggle for Jack's safe recovery, and to at last bring together the eight pieces, and help Will with his passive-aggressive tendencies, and assist Elizabeth in deciding whom she really loves, and try to bring Will's father back from eternal barnacle imprisonment, are among the many loose ends.

Those are finally tied, nearly three hours later, but before they are there is again a barrage of tedious battles and effects. Even if the third film is quieter than the second, also more grim and less playful (and that can be a good thing, as we saw in the better Batman films), the film is still enamored with its tech possibilities more so than attaching its story and characters to our emotions. That's where these films don't even come close. The wenches running in circles on the Disneyland ride elicit more sympathy than the characters in these films, most of whom are pawns to the greater spectacle.

That said, there are some punchy surprises, including one well-designed star cameo, and Rush and Depp still do yeoman work as amusing dingbats, rescuing us more than once from all the noise.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" begins with lynchings and bullets and death, and though it rightfully sports a PG-13 rating, you must again wonder who the audience will be, even though whoever they are will again arrive in huge numbers. Too violent for children, and not smart enough for the increasingly savvy and demanding YouTube bunch, the film will likely again attract big numbers of people who still enjoy the idea of a blockbuster and its possibilities. The rest of us party poopers can get back to the challenges of our coloring books.

C-

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"

Starring: Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Geoffrey Rush

Director: Gore Verbinski

Studio: Walt Disney Pictures

Rated: PG-13 (for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images)

RT: 168 minutes