Readers share their tales of woe

By: North County Times readers - | Saturday, July 28, 2007 8:45 PM PDT ∞

We visited San Diego in 1977 from our home near Sacramento. The USS Sacramento was tied up downtown. My retired Navy husband was invited aboard. The young sailor who accompanied us was very hospitable, so as we left, he was invited to visit us at our home if ever up that way. A few months later, his wife was joining him at the beginning of his 30-day leave and he wished to bring her to meet us before they continued to their home in another state.

We welcomed them, unaware they planned to stay so long ---- or bring along their dachshund. The dachshund proceeded to have diarrhea all over our carpeted home. After a week, we "encouraged" them to get on the road to see their own families before the leave was up. They tried to maintain an ongoing friendship, but we just had to finally stop responding.

Anonymous, Fallbrook

Our most annoying houseguests:

One set of houseguests insists on washing their bathroom towels after every shower, and the adults shower morning and evening. We've asked them to please, if they must use a clean towel each time, pile the wet ones in the basket provided until there's a full load to wash ---- they think two towels is a full load.

We've told them we try to conserve water and energy by washing only full loads ---- they don't care.

I've left wet laundry in the washer as a hint that the washer was in use ---- they take it out and put it back in the washer after they use it.

I've told them it's my laundry day and the washer will be in use all day ---- they put my clothes in the dryer and start their towels anyway.

We love company, but these people really annoy us! Unfortunately, they're family.

Anonymous, Vista

By definition, a guest is "a recipient of hospitality at the home or table of another," which is why I suffered the "Week From Hell" when my husband's sister came to visit. My husband had a scheduled surgery that would put him the hospital for three to four days. Being the problem-solver that he is, he asked his sister to fly down from Portland to help me out. With three horses and four dogs around, and me working three days a week, I thought she would be home to take care of our place and the animals. Wrong!

She came down all right ---- bruised and banged up after falling off her horse the day before. She was not only no help, but had a fractured collarbone that was diagnosed after an exam by our doctor. From then on, I was the only person to take care of our animals, water, work and spend time at the hospital with my husband.

On the day of surgery, when I needed her most, she took off for the entire day to visit with her daughter. When I told her that I really needed her help that day, she replied that she was here to spend as much time with her daughter as possible and that our animals would be OK for a day. With that being said, the last two days with her in our home were spent in a very "chilly" house. When her daughter came to pick her up and the door shut behind her, she left with my tickets to the musical "Menopause" (which I could not use), feeling very pampered and rested.

Anonymous, Fallbrook

Several years ago, our oldest son visited from London and brought his significant other (whom none of us care for in the least). They had not been in the States for years and apparently wanted to see some of their Berkeley grad school friends, but they hate to spend money on gas and travel and lodging (they only go where they can impose on family or friends).

So they invited a bunch of their group down to our house and never mentioned a word of this plan to us! We went out for a few hours on a Saturday to get more groceries (thank goodness), only to arrive home to encounter 10 people we had never met or heard of sitting all over our house and deck.

Now for the topper: They were hungry, so the significant other made them grilled cheese sandwiches in the oven ---- on the rack ---- using no pan whatsoever ---- need I explain the mess?

Thankfully, we seldom see these people, because the second time they visited they brought two children and her father, who all had to sleep in the 700-square-foot guest house. You can't pick your relatives!

Anonymous, Rainbow

This is a case where the houseguests were mistreated, not the hosts!

When my husband and I bought a home, we had no space for a guest bedroom, so we bought a hideabed and matching loveseat for our living room. Our first guests were my sister-in-law and her husband, whom I shall call Harriet and Gary (because those are their names).

Our guests arrived, and we proudly showed them around our new home and introduced them to the hideabed, along with a stack of brand-new bedding and pillows.

However, not once, during the week they stayed, did Gary and Harriet ever use the hideabed. Gary slept on the couch, and Harriet slept on the loveseat. We finally decided they just weren't sleeping together any longer.

Imagine our embarrassment when we finally noticed, two years later, that our hideabed was a regular couch!

Anonymous, Murrieta

After many not-so-great houseguest experiences, I wrote this poem. It can be sung to a Swedish folk tune (excerpts follow):

The friend, the cousin, the friend of a friend

Our home is recommended without an end.

They all come along, they all come along

We sing the California Houseguest song.

Yosemite, San Francisco look close on the map

Disneyland, TJ fall right into our lap!

So we drive along, so we drive along

Singing the California Houseguest song.

The budget busts in ev'ry seam

The car eats miles and drinks gasoline ----

No "green" helps along, no "green" helps along

We suffer and sing the California Houseguest song!

Anonymous, Encinitas

Living in Garden Grove, we had easy access to the ocean, Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm. We had our share of houseguests. On one occasion we escorted two couples to Knott's Berry Farm. At closing time, one guest decided to purchase a Stetson hat. It was too late for the clerk to go to the storage area for a hat in his size. Since they were leaving the next morning, my husband offered to pick it up later, package it, insure it and send it to Ohio ---- which we did. Gratitude? None! No "thank you," reimbursement, or even acknowledgment of its arrival. Guess the fellow decided to keep it under his hat.

P.S. My husband was hospitalized years later at Tri-City. Accommodations for guests at home were the use of a 40-foot motor home in an enclosure. When they were preparing to leave, they wanted to do something to help. They drove the RV into the driveway, where the "dump station" was located. Not being RVers themselves, they opened the wrong valve! It was not a lot of fun mopping up the driveway, but we did laugh a lot.

Anonymous, Vista

To look at our recent houseguests, you would think they are refined, quiet and gentle in nature.

Our guest room is upstairs, over the master bedroom; they found it to be very nice.

The first night they stayed with us they met old friends for dinner in San Diego. We retired early, before they were scheduled to come home. We were awakened in the night with a start ---- strange noise upstairs. No, it wasn't mice.

The noise sounded like someone was trying to find something in the suitcase and dropped it. Then the noise sounded like they had put on lead boots and started to tap dance and play-chase. Even with pillows over our heads, we couldn't block the noise.

Next time, they can sleep on the old fold-out couch in the den.

Anonymous, Encinitas

You're in trouble when your visitors tell you when they are coming and for how long. No choice for you. Mine used 35 long days as the magic number.

They arrived with no money, saying they planned to use ATMs. Of course, their European card didn't work in our American machines, so for the two weeks it took them to get money sent here, I paid for almost everything.

During their visit, they broke and ruined things, got sick, fell, never offered to pay for any gas for the 3,500 miles I drove them, excluded me for hours by speaking only in their language, took over my house, computer and TVs, took pictures of me asleep and paid almost nothing for the food to feed them five times a day.

Somehow they seemed to think that giving me plants and a coffee machine made it right. Wrong! Their vacation cost me about $2,000.

Anonymous, Escondido

1) A nephew from Connecticut phoned that he had a surprise. He was going to visit me for Christmas holidays. At San Diego Airport, he had a bigger surprise. He had invited his sister and roommate as well.

They expected to drive my car to tour Hollywood and L.A. attractions. I recommended "Rent-A-Wreck." They never had money at all at the San Diego attractions.

I spent their vacation at the grocery, my kitchen sink, stove and washing machine.

All three said the holidays in Oceanside were super.

I could not have agreed less.

2) In Italy I met a British woman who had friends in L.A. and planned to visit. She said she'd like to stay with me a few days.

The sunshine in Oceanside excited her. She sunbathed nude on the deck every day, slathering her body with oils. She strolled about sitting on upholstery, walking on the new carpeting. When urged to cover up, she told me I was ashamed of my body.

After 10 days, I asked when she was going to L.A. "It's so beautiful here I've extended my holiday to a month!"

When I asked her to prepare an English dinner, she told me I was a great cook and would hate her cooking. She poured herself another glass of wine and waddled to the TV room.

A man drove her to L.A. In one day, a phone message came that she was coming back. I didn't return the call. Then she rang the doorbell. I told her I was leaving town and she should make plane arrangements.

While driving to the airport, my eyes were so filled with tears of joy I could hardly see.

Anonymous, Oceanside

1) Several years ago, relatives were leaving for home in Idaho after visiting us here in California. We noticed they had a bad tire and gave them $50 to buy a new one on the way out of town. Several weeks later, they let us know they'd arrived safely home with the old tire still going strong. They decided to have a good time and used the $50 at Disneyland instead.

2) A retired friend who lives in Germany was coming to visit us. After he let us know his lady friend would be along, we gave her a warm welcome, letting them know we had room. Upon their arrival, we showed them their accommodations, at which they protested because they liked sharing one room. Since that is not approved in our home with anyone unmarried, they finally settled in.

We had a lovely visit, but they got the best of us when they both showered together.

We tried.

Anonymous, Valley Center