Chargers' problems numerous

By: LOREN NELSON - Staff Writer | Sunday, September 30, 2007 11:10 PM PDT ∞

SAN DIEGO ---- Fire Norv. Bring on Billy Volek. Make Darren Sproles the new feature back.

Burn the stadium.

The Chargers are in need of many things ---- a defense that tackles and a wide receiver who catches, for starters ---- but they can do without the bad ideas or the flamethrowers.

The Chargers' Super Bowl Express now includes three straight losses, the most grisly of which came Sunday in a 30-16 mistakefest with the unimpressive Kansas City Chiefs at Qualcomm Stadium.

The buzzards started circling late in the fourth quarter, announcing their presence with the low-toned rumble of "Marty, Marty, Marty."

Believing exiled coach Marty Schottenheimer is the solution to this riddle is like saying a sump pump would have saved the Titanic.

If this continues, and after Sunday's debacle every game on the Chargers' schedule looks losable, the next chants will be for Volek to replace quarterback Philip Rivers. After that, maybe running back LaDainian Tomlinson, the reigning league MVP, should be the next to go.

And the defense?

Get rid of 'em all.

That is how the paying customers demand satisfaction. Meanwhile, the coaches are left searching for answers. And the players, well, they're all in shock,

"This thing is getting away from us," fullback Lorenzo Neal said.

You think?

The Chargers went 14-2 last year with much the same lineup. But that team played a schedule filled with pushovers, received more than its share of fortuitous bounces and referee interpretations and then promptly disintegrated in a playoff loss to the New England Patriots.

This version of the Chargers has a new coaching staff led by Norv Turner and a treacherous schedule, possible explanations for previous losses to the Patriots and Green Bay Packers ---- teams that remain unbeaten.

But the Chiefs? Kansas City's only previous win came over the Minnesota Vikings, another second-tier team.

Yet there they were on Sunday, Kansas City quarterback Damon Huard and rookie receiver Dwayne Bowe doing a spot-on Montana-to-Rice impersonation. Following the template so many other teams have used successfully, Huard and Bowe victimized the Chargers' Keystone Cops secondary by hooking up eight times for 164 yards and the go-ahead touchdown early in the fourth quarter.

It got so bad that cornerback Quentin Jammer was whistled for holding on the play, a 51-yard catch-and-run that also roasted overeager safety Marlon McCree, and yet Jammer still couldn't stay with Bowe.

"That's something they have to work on ..." Bowe said.

So this is what the season has come to: Chargers fans chanting for a fired coach whose playoff meltdowns are legendary and a rookie receiver offering advice to a beleaguered secondary.

The Chargers go to Denver next. The good news is they won there last year. The bad news is they haven't won back-to-back games in the Mile High City since 1967-68.

After that, it's archrival Oakland and fast-improving Houston at Qualcomm. There are no cupcakes on this schedule. Not with this team. Not anymore.

"We need a win badly," said Tomlinson, who, inexplicably, was ignored by Rivers despite being wide open on a third-and-goal play at the 5-yard line late in the fourth quarter.

Rivers threw two interceptions, one of which came on a play in which Tomlinson zigged when Rivers thought he would zag. In his second year as a starter, Rivers finished with an anemic 44.8 passer rating and is deep in the throes of a sophomore slump.

Of course, it's hard to rack up completions when, as an example, Vincent Jackson drops a sure touchdown pass when it hits him in the hands.

"It was a great throw," Jackson said of his fourth quarter bobble. "I lost my concentration for a second."

The Chargers' best player on the field might have been Sproles, who is a blur of fearlessness. But a 5-foot-6, 181-pound kick returner is not the guy you want carrying a team.

The only other positive on this afternoon was the speed in which the stadium emptied. Minutes after the rousing "Marty" chants, most of the blue seats were empty.

The fire marshall, no doubt, was thrilled.

Contact sports editor Loren Nelson at (760) 740-3551 or lnelson@nctimes.com.