also thankful wrote on Dec 24, 2007 10:01 AM:RAH RAH.... another chinese child finds a home. Big Deal. I'm also an adoptive parent of 2 children now ages 4 and 5 1/2. They are the joy and light of my life and they were AMERICANS FIRST. Everyone gets impressed by people who go to a forign country to adopt children yet we have lists of children right here in our own backyards longing for homes and families. Whats wrong with taking care of our own FIRST. You really want to do something impressive adoopt a child from one of the counties social services systyms.

Even Better wrote on Dec 24, 2007 11:32 AM:Try adopting an american child that has special needs! They really need a loving family more than anyone I can think of.

domestic adoption obstacles wrote on Dec 24, 2007 5:27 PM:Has anyone talking about domestic adoption actually tried it? Not as easy as it sounds. In many counties, you have to become a foster parent first. Your home will need to be upgraded to daycare standards. Many children that are available have serious problems, sometimes you read about in the paper, where the firebug torches the foster parent's home. Older children are told by social workers that if there are any problems, give them a call. The child knows they will get their way unless you want to be reported for child abuse. Children end up in foster care when social services takes the kid due to domestic violence, drug abuse, or parents in jail. Their rules make adoption very difficult, in many cases, the actual parents eventually get their child back. Then there is the paperwork. Social services look for any reason why you should not be a foster parent. Real adoption agencies have you go through the same background check (through law enforcement and medical records), but are more positive, looking for a reason for you to adopt if you are not crazy or a criminal. Although open adoption works, when looking through the paper, you will see ads for open adoption. In another section, there are ads "pregnant? get free medical!" by the same attorneys. Several friends going this route got burned several times. Depending which state this occurs in, even if successful, the birth parent(s) still can change their mind and get custody.

Priorities wrote on Dec 24, 2007 6:04 PM:Baby girls go to rot in China, "death rooms". they just lie there. China's got real problems, and with that, they have the audacity to get even more picky, can't be old, can't be fat, can't be gay, can't be single. China's got real problems. Adopt from home. Help children right here.

also thankful wrote on Dec 24, 2007 9:17 PM:to "domestic adoption" yes I have tried it. Both my children were adopted through riverside county SS. Both were removed from their birth parents for abuse/neglect. We also attempted adoptions of 2 other children. I can speak from personal experience. Yes there are flaws in the domestic process but you have taken some facts and blown them completely out of proportion. We became foster parents first but that was OUR choice. With 1 additional fingerprinting, the paperwork for that step was xerox copies of the same paperwork needed for the adoptions. We could have finalized adoptions without it, but would have been on a longer waiting list. The home "baby-proofing" that was "required" was the same as we (or any reasonably concerned parent) would/should choose to do anyway. During the process we dealt with many social workers. Some were easier to work with than others but, all of them wanted the children in their care to have healthy, happy, permanent homes. None of them ever TRIED to make the process difficult. They did openly complain that the court system protected birth parent rights more than childrens rights. My daughters BioM made our lives miserable for over a year while we fought to protect her during court ordered visits. The courts are where we need changes. But, going abroad is no guarantee either. The problems of adopted children are rooted in their ability/inability to attatch. Children who spend 2 years in "death rooms" are just as likely to have attatchment issues as those removed for abuse/neglect. A friend who adopted from china went through a similar process including home inspections, background checks, etc. The final scorecard looks like this: Them- one daughter home age 2, Us- daughter home age 11 months, son age 5 months. Them- D has some attatchment issues and mild ADD--healing/adjusting well. Us- D has some attatchment issues and mild ADD--healing and adjusting well. S- no apparent issues (age 4). Them- over $60,000, including multiple trips to china. US- less than $500 for both. Also financial assistance and medical ins till age 18 could have been provided. Adoption is a difficult, emotional process regardless of where the child is born. Surely there are many needy children within a 50 mile radius of carlsbad who could bring joy to loving parents. The biggest difference I see is that one is also a status symbol and one isn't.

NCLOCAL wrote on Dec 26, 2007 8:29 AM:Come on man, these comments do not reflect our Lord's commands. Love all. Simple, so the kid is from China, that's not her fault. Anyone could have drawn a boundry line, heck you could have been a little chinese girl. One world, one love. God Bless the Burkharts. If they read this, they would really dig a song by Third Day called Merry Christmas. Google it. Have a Happy and safe New Year to all !

NCLOCAL wrote on Dec 26, 2007 1:20 PM:As a parent of one child with Down syndrome and two children that are typical I would like to see children with special needs adopted more often too. But the bottom line is that all children have needs, some just need a loving home.

Open your hearts wrote on Dec 28, 2007 5:52 PM:Why find fault with anyone who gives a loving home to a 'homeless' child, no matter their heritage, special needs or expense? Background checks should be thorough. If you really want to be a parent through adoption, you'll want to comply with all regulation, no matter how 'dinky' they seem, or how long they take. God help us if a child abuser (or worse) is able to adopt through missed background checks. Unconditional love, reponsible upbringing will lead to a productive adult; leaving them in shelters and foster care (with due respect to those who are GREAT foster parents will not ease the 'attachment issues' as those children still have no 'permancey' - adoption is permanent. I do agree that adopting from China, etc. seems to be a 'look at me; look what I did' syndrome when yes, why not adopt close to home?

momto2 wrote on Dec 31, 2007 11:16 AM:My children were born in China. You may think that means some sort of 'status symbol' or that I want everyone to 'look at what I did' but honestly I am sick of people looking at us and commenting on 'what we did'. My children are children like any others who needed a home as bad as any other. After 5 years of infertility and trying to adopt domestically I just wanted a child to love, the fact that they needed me as much as I needed them was not my first choice. Call me selfish, I just wanted a child. Stop assuming I didn't try domestic first and that I feel I did something 'great'. Just let me love my kids and leave me alone.

Kathleen wrote on Jan 2, 2008 7:23 AM:These story chats are really sad when somebody reads a story about a beautiful thing -- a kid finding a home -- and then tries to politicize it.

I personally celebrate EVERY kid who finds a loving home, no matter where he or she was born ...