Hoyt McGarity (who?) wins U.S. Open at Torrey Pines
The first U.S. Open in San Diego is still nearly six months away, and everyone has already crowned Tiger Woods the champion.

OK, I know the man is great and all, but the 13-time major champion who happens to be the czar of Torrey Pines has nothing on a guy named Hoyt McGarity.

You probably have never heard of this lad from Monterey, which makes sense considering he's a so-so player on the Canadian Tour and isn't even ranked among the top 1,000 players in the world. But next to Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy, "Pretty Boy" Hoyt has the best name in golf.

Yes, better than a name like Tiger.

A golfer named Hoyt McGarity is akin to a boxer named Apollo Creed. It's just cool.

And when you're cool, good things tend to happen.

Hoyt's goodness will send shock waves throughout the golf world when he advances through local and regional qualifying and then wipes the floor with guys named Phil, Vijay and, of course, Tiger, at the USGA's national championship.

Before you start accusing me of having one too many pops at the 19th hole or being hit by Loren's errant tee shot one too many times, hear me out.

There is a precedent for this, you know. Dark horses do win sometimes.

Francis Ouimet won the 1913 U.S. Open in his first try.

John Daly won the PGA Championship as the ninth and final alternate at Crooked Stick in 1991.

Ben Curtis and Shaun Micheel both came out of nowhere to win majors back in 2003.

And if "Tin Cup" had listened to Cheech and taken a drop, he too would have been a Cinderella story.

The writing is on the wall for my boy Hoyt.

Come June, everyone will be foaming at the mouth in anticipation of the Phil-Tiger duel.

Will Tiger finally deck Phil with a right hook for all his past pot shots, or will they finally kiss, make up and promise to high-five each other at the next Ryder Cup?

Whatever the case, if they're playing in the final group today, no one will much care about what else is going on at the course.

(By the way, security officials have already announced that anyone yelling "You da man, Tiger!" or "You da man, Phil!" or "Get in the hole!" will be shot).

This will open the door for McGarity, who will be trudging along the entire way and pull a sneak attack on the back nine when everyone is a six-pack deep and getting their Tiger-Phil fill.

Hoyt McGarity will be the story of 2008.

Unless, of course, he tests positive for steroids or gets popped for dogfighting. Or both.

Either way, it's going to be an interesting year.

Contact staff writer Marc Figueroa at marcfig@aol.com.