U.S. OPEN: Seen and heard; Easy to see why Chargers are MIA

By Jay Paris - Staff Writer | Wednesday, June 11, 2008 10:20 PM PDT ∞

LA JOLLA ---- Welcome to the 108th U.S. Open, which has its curtain lifted at 7 Thursday morning. How grand is this event? Someone said it's the Super Bowl of golf, which brought this reply from his buddy: "No wonder you don't see any Chargers around.''

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Ouch, and yes the Torrey Pines Golf Course is loaded with out-of-towners. Think the wiseacre had a New England accent. ...

-- Among those filling Wednesday's gallery was Bill FitzMaurice of San Clemente. He laughed when asked if he drove past the course, down to Qualcomm Stadium, then was shuttled back to Torrey. Instead, he parked at the Solana Beach train station and boarded the NCTD #101 bus, which delivered him to Torrey's north entrance. All for $2 each way, and exact change please. ...

-- It's bigger than big. More massive than the number of blue-bloods soaking in their beloved golf. It's larger than life, kind of like Tiger Woods with nine steps leading up to him. Welcome to the 39,000-square foot merchandise pavilion, a behemoth structure that makes a Costco look like a cozy boutique.

-- Purchasing souvenirs? It's an BYOW affair ---- bring your own wallet. "We've definitely had individual sales into the thousands,'' said Nikki Lieb, a perky clerk from USGA headquarters in Far Hills, N.J. An associate added: "I had a sale for $8,000.'' It's easy to see why with everything from shot glasses ($6) to framed posters of the signature No. 3 hole ($275) being peddled. "What we sell the most of are hats,'' Lieb said. But how does one pass on the sky blue shirts for $99? Appropriately, the U.S. Open logo is above the back pocket, where a depleted wallet sits. ...

-- Golf aficionados love analyzing every blade of kikuyu grass, but not everyone is an expert. "This is the fairway, so this is where the ball lands on?'' a befuddled woman asked her husband, who was busy rolling his eyes. ...

-- The Padres got into the U.S. Open mode Tuesday night, losing two balls in the Petco Park lights. Those swinging the other sticks at Torrey will try avoiding losing balls in the considerable rough. ...

-- Get ba-ba-ba-ba-back! That's what a security guard standing watch over the putting green told ESPN's Chris Berman, who struggled to locate his credential. He found it, which brought a wave from the guard. And yes, Berman could ---- and did ---- go all the way to the players' locker room. ...

-- Betcha didn't know: Greg Maddux has played golf with Woods, but Maddux won't talk about it on the record. Probably doesn't want to comment on what it's like to play with a big hitter. ...

-- I saw some, and when was the list time anyone said that about public phones? Near the merchandise pavilion is a batch of land lines, with a long line to use them. Ah, the reminders of life without cell phones; they can't be brought onto the course. ...

-- The lady swallowed up in the mass of humanity said, "It wasn't like this when we first came out here.'' She was talking about the late-morning gridlock around the putting green with Woods on it. He hit a few, but spent most his time talking with coach Hank Haney and fellow pro Ben Curtis. How crowded was it? Imagine the 1-5 and 1-805 merge in rush hour, with a batch of under-construction I-15 tossed in.

Contact staff writer Jay Paris at jparis8@aol.com.

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