FALLBROOK: Contest winner's poetic success takes him by surprise

Vern Kent takes $15K for entry about crumbling bathroom

By TOM PFINGSTEN - Staff Writer | Monday, November 10, 2008 6:46 PM PST ∞

FALLBROOK ---- Vern Kent's not the kind of guy who enters every contest or plays the lottery.

But the 76-year-old Fallbrook resident recently found himself in possession of a $15,000 grand prize check for a poem he wrote about remodeling a bathroom in his former Del Mar home.

Kent said he was searching the Internet for a hard-to-find part for his toilet when he came across a Web site for a Memphis, Tenn.-based company called ARS Rescue Rooter, which was publicizing its "Dear John" essay contest.

It called for creative, humorous entries describing how contestants would bid "a fond farewell to their tired bathrooms," according to the company's Web site.

"There was this contest, and I said, 'Gee whiz, I do crossword puzzles. What the heck?' Before you knew it, I started writing," Kent said.

His entry, a 28-line poem bidding his old bathroom adieu, was chosen as the winning piece last month.

"Dear Johnnie," it begins, "There’s something I’ve been thinking and feeling for a long time. ... Mirror, mirror on the wall/When I look at you, I need Pepto-Bismol."

Lindsey Levy, a publicist who helped judge the contest entries, said Kent's colorful writing style stood out.

"We really enjoyed his descriptions," Levy said. "We wanted to base everything on the entrant's writing skills and creativity."

Kent said the poem was just a light-hearted attempt at capturing what homeowners feel when faced with the leaky faucets and peeling linoleum in a bathroom that's in disrepair.

"I remember the smell of the mold, all that stuff," he said, adding that he renovated the bathroom in Del Mar on his own dime nine years ago. "We put in a Jacuzzi tub, had the shower enlarged. It was a major number. If I'd gotten the 15 grand then, I'd have used it for that."

Almost a decade later, he put his contest entry together and mailed it in.

"Never, ever, did I think I would win," he said. "I never win anything."

A retired doctor who practiced medicine for 36 years in San Diego, Kent said he wouldn't describe himself as a writer any more than he would call himself a contest junkie.

"I've written a couple of screenplays, but never published them," he said. "There are times in your life when a creative thing comes over you. Nobody has to like (what you write), but you feel like you have to do it."

Contest rules did not state that the winnings must be spent on home repairs, but Kent said he may set the money aside for the day when his seven-year-old Fallbrook house eventually springs a leak.

"Someday, I'm going to end up doing something to renovate," he said. "I'll find something."

Contact staff writer Tom Pfingsten at (760) 740-3516 or tpfingsten@nctimes.com.