NO - Just when you thought all the clowns had loaded up their confetti and cream pies and were headed for home, they went and called a news conference.

Marty stays.

Ha, ha.

It's hard to decide which was the Chargers' more impressive comedy of errors, last Sunday's loss to the New England Patriots or the three days of Marty Watch, ending with the most astounding blunder of them all.

The Winningest Coach Never to Have Been to a Super Bowl gets another year. It took the Chargers' brain trust three days to come to the realization there is no better man to lead the Chargers to a championship than someone who has never led a team to a championship.

No matter that Marty Schottenheimer was thoroughly outcoached last Sunday. Never mind that his players showed an alarming lack of discipline and poise.

Forget about his coordinators alternately taking turns stumbling off the deep end.

What's important is that we all love Marty, and that Marty promises to get 'em next time. Besides, he's bound to win a big game sooner or later.

There it is, Chargers fans, your hopes and dreams for next season, for a Super Bowl title, pinned to the Due Theory. Good luck.

Marty apologists -- including my counterpart bellowing hot air in this argument -- emerged en masse this week. They explained that Schottenheimer didn't drop any of those passes, wasn't the one taking all the dumb penalties and that his coordinators were the ones calling all the wrong plays.

Heck, Schottenheimer "DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A HEADSET!"

Plus, he went 14-2 in the regular season. And, really, it would be insane to fire a guy who went 14-2.

Let me get this straight: Schottenheimer had nothing to do with last Sunday's Mission Valley Meltdown, but had everything to do with the Chargers' supremely successful regular season. How convenient.

Coaching the Chargers is the perfect job. When the team dominates the regular season, you're the reason why.

When the playoffs arrive and the whole thing unravels like a burlap sack, it's everyone's fault but your own.

Schottenheimer playoff teams are notorious for folding like $2 lawn chairs. He is 5-13 in the postseason and has lost his last six playoff appearances.

No worries. Marty's our guy, insists the Chargers' brass.

Fantastic. I can't wait until next year's playoffs.

I've always enjoyed a good tragicomedy.

Send in the clowns.

Contact sports editor Loren Nelson at (760) 740-3551 or lnelson@nctimes.com.