Not too long ago, the crew at KGB's "Dave, Shelly & Chainsaw" show turned to breasts, a topic dear to many radio morning-show hosts. They discussed women who named theirs —— one listener said she calls hers "License & Registration," because she points to them whenever she gets pulled over; another dubbed hers "Thelma & Louise."

A few days later, Star 100.7's "Jeff & Jer" spent time debating the visual appeal (or lack thereof) of a certain part of the male anatomy. Meanwhile, KPRI has been airing an Alanis Morissette song with a seven-letter bad word (she uses it to describe herself) while also allowing pop-rocker Jason Mraz to make this comment about why he likes to put roosters on his album covers: "Well, I guess literally I've been told I like to rock out with my c—- out."

Wow.

Considering what's allowed on the air these days, it might be hard to believe that the Federal Communications Commission has spent the last year cracking down on radio indecency. Indeed, several local radio station bosses said they haven't had to change much in the 12 months since the FCC's morality police got energized by Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction during the Super Bowl.

But things are different: Some rock songs have gotten a nip and tuck to remove offensive language, while seven-second tape delays have become more common during live broadcasts. KPBS-FM snipped obscenities out of news interviews with Marines and soldiers in Iraq, and KIOZ/Rock 105.3, along with other Clear Channel stations, dumped Howard Stern after he allowed a caller to use a racial epithet. (He's now heard on crosstown rival 103.7/The Planet.)

Meanwhile, the weird pre-Janet rules still apply too. During KGB's breast-acious discussion, the hosts listed several slang terms for those body parts. But while they danced around it, they didn't use a popular slang word that rhymes with "mitts." (The one that rhymes with, um, "oobs" was OK.)

How come? Radio types have freely used a couple of other dirtier words for years, including one that Vice President Richard Cheney hears every day. But back in the 1970s, the Supreme Court upheld a ruling that banned comedian George Carlin's "Seven Dirty Words" skit from the public airwaves. Among those words was the t-word that refers to breasts.

But it's still all right to use Cheney's nickname on the air as an insult? The t-word is offensive to many women, but isn't the d-word worse? This didn't make sense before last year's Super Bowl fiasco, and it doesn't make sense now.

But at least the t-word is clearly off-limits. For the most part, TV and radio stations still don't know exactly which other words are forbidden, and the stakes could get very high: Congressmen are trying to dramatically boost fines up to $500,000 a pop.

What to do? The FCC could issue strict guidelines —— this word is allowed, that word isn't. You can see this body part on television, but not that one. But that's as ridiculous as the FCC's recent ruling, since withdrawn, that said the f-word is allowed if it's used in an exclamatory context but not a sexual one. In other words, it would probably be OK if it had an exclamation point after it somewhere.

Yikes.

Since no self-respecting politician is going to stand up for dirty talk, the FCC's crusade isn't going to stop anytime soon. But there's an opportunity for change: FCC Chairman Michael Powell is quitting, and President Bush will suggest a replacement.

Perhaps the president could remember the words he told C-SPAN in a recent interview: "As a free-speech advocate, I often told parents who were complaining about content, you're the first line of responsibility; they put an off button (on) the TV for a reason. Turn it off."

What a concept.

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There's good news for senior citizens who miss the golden oldies of KPOP: As of today, you can once again find Frank Sinatra, Rod Stewart and Barbra Streisand on the local dial. KLAC/"The Fabulous 570," an AM station based in Los Angeles, is swapping places with long-standing sports-talk station XTRA Sports 690. The move allows the golden oldies format to be heard at full strength in San Diego County. KPOP abandoned its music format and flipped to liberal talk last year.

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Here are some more details from the fall 2004 radio ratings, released recently by the Arbitron company. In the all-important morning hours, when radio stations make bundles of money, the first-place prize goes to the news on KOGO, followed by a tie for second place between KGB's "Dave, Shelly & Chainsaw" and Star 100.7's "Jeff & Jer." Also near the top: KPLN/103.7's Howard Stern, Spanish-language KLNV, talker Rick Roberts on KFMB-AM, and soft-music KyXy. And who's at the bottom? In the morning, hardly anyone listens to KNX (news), KPRZ (religious talk), KCBQ (conservative talk) or XTRA Sports 690.

Randy Dotinga wonders what this column would be like if he didn't work for a family newspaper. E-mail him at NCTimesRadio@aol.com.