It's time for the second part of "Static Column: Eight Years of Listening to Radio So You Don't Have To." (Also known as "Slow News Week Forces Desperate Radio Writer to Rehash 400 Columns.")

Last week, I looked at some of the trends that have affected radio since this column first appeared in 1998. Now, let's take a stroll through some of the most memorable quotes by radio personalities that have appeared in this space.

- "Would it be, 'Get a life' or 'Get uh life?' " -- former KPBS-FM reporter Carrie Kahn's response to an ornery caller who critiqued her pronunciation of the word "a," as recalled by colleague Scott Horsley.

- "Bye, Star." -- Clear Channel local executive Jim Richards, after the company's My 94.1 station grabbed morning hosts "Jeff & Jer" from competitor Star 100.7, which had tortured listeners for years with its annoying "Hi, Star!" tagline.

- "Healthy sex is a combination of sensible behavior and sincere affection." -- TV and radio talk-show host Bill O'Reilly in his 2004 book "The O'Reilly Factor for Kids," published the same year that Reilly was accused of "babbling perversely" to a female colleague about shower sex and loofahs in a sexual harassment lawsuit that was ultimately settled.

- "I give them a can of tuna so they have some good, solid protein and something to eat." -- KPBS-FM host Gloria Penner, who carries tiny flip-top cans of tuna in her purse -- what, no mayo? -- to give to the homeless.

- "Moron," "frustrated," "a man of little talent," and "a bitter and probably broke individual." -- Syndicated talk-show host Tom Leykis describing this columnist on the air after I called him a misogynist.

- "Is he a milquetoast, namby-pamby, skillet-licking mama's boy?" -- One of the favorite questions of legendary San Diego-based radio talk show host Bill Ballance, who died in 2004 (but not before spreading around ancient nude photos of stern advice-giver "Dr. Laura").

- "I think it means, 'I smoked way too much pot before writing this song.' " -- FM 94/9 host Anya Marina, on the possible meaning of singer Jack Jackson's "Hallelujah zigzag nothing" lyric in the song "The Horizon Has Been Defeated."

- "None of these guys have the guts to go with just what sounds good." -- KGB morning co-host Dave Rickards, complaining on air about his bosses and his station's tired classic rock format. (He kept his job.)

- "It is pretty shocking that governmental interference into our rights and free speech takes place in the U.S. It's hard to reconcile this with the 'land of the free' and the 'home of the brave.' " -- Howard Stern, noted First Amendment scholar, taking a break from lesbians and lesbians in 2004 to scold our leaders over indecency regulations.

- "Didn't you used to be Jerry G. Bishop?" -- a customer at a Seaport Village restaurant to its owner, Jerry G. Bishop, a former radio disc jockey.

- "I miss Adam, but I'm relieved that he's gone." -- Dr. Drew Pinsky of the sex advice show "Loveline" after his obnoxious co-host, alleged comedian Adam Carolla, left to host a syndicated morning show.

- "Nobody can do the type of insider radio that he does, the type that excludes 90 percent of the audience." -- KOGO talk-show host Rick Roberts -- now at KFMB-AM -- on then-colleague Roger Hedgecock.

- "Are you a porker, my dear? Have you let yourself go? Are you sitting on your rhino haunches?" -- Another Bill Ballance-ism.

- "I've stopped dinner conversations cold." -- KPBS-FM "A Way With Words" co-host Martha Barnette, on her unerring ability to bore people with talk about language.

- "Taco Bell's Cannon." -- former KSDS general manager Mary Woodworth, on what she thought a caller wanted to hear when she started working at a classical station. It was actually the famous piece Pachelbel's Canon.

- "Bunch of Internet BS and hyperbole" -- talk-show host Rush Limbaugh, on rumors that he'd avoided service in Vietnam because he had a "boil on his butt." In fact, the respected Web site snopes.com says Limbaugh indeed had a cyst on his behind; whether that led to his exemption is unclear.

- "A woman calls one day and says, 'You're not going to believe it, my husband's been abducted by aliens, he's been gone so long. He finally came in real late in the morning, and he was sweaty and nervous. And then she says, 'These aliens, they took his wedding ring!' " -- George Noory, host of the syndicated aliens-and-conspiracies nighttime show "Coast to Coast AM."

- "Well, hello there!" -- Bill Ballance's words to a toupee sitting on a stand in his bedroom when a visitor spotted it while being shown around.

Randy Dotinga is going to throw his hands in the air and wave 'em like he just don't care. E-mail him at NCTimesRadio@aol.com.