Don't tell the children, but not all Santas are created equal. There are some out there who look a bit -- how shall we put this gently? -- shabby. Some have bellies that don't shake like a bowlful of jelly when they laugh. Some don't have wire-rimmed bifocals hanging from the tip of their noses. There are even ones whose beards look pasted on, frankly.
The good news, though, is there are plenty of authentic Santa Clauses, too. Ones with rosy complexions and real beards, ones with a real twinkle in their eye and whose ho! ho! ho! comes straight from the heart.
Many of these real Santas are card-carrying members of the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, an international organization based in Riverside of "real bearded gentlemen dedicated to the joy of being Santa."
"You can't fool the children," said Vista resident Brad Etter, who is one such Santa. He has been a Santa for more than 18 years. Among the many appointments he has this month is his yearly visit to the children at the Teddy Bear Tea held at the L'Auberge Del Mar. He's been doing this for the last two years, and plays Sparkles the Clown in the off-season.
Edder listens eagerly to children and they easily warm to him. In front of the warm fire, he spins sweet stories about Rudolph, Mrs. Claus and his hard-working elves. He sings Christmas songs, and even performs a few magic tricks. Etter says he much prefers being Santa to working on the space shuttle and air-launched missiles at Convair, where he worked until a 1993 layoff (just after Christmas), "because of the children." And for him, it is vital to be authentic.
"Sometimes the children ask me, 'Are you the real Santa?'" he said. "I tell them, 'Tug on my beard, just a little,' and when they see it doesn't come off, they say -- their eyes wide open -- 'You are the real Santa!'"
Etter is one of more than 1,000 merry old souls who make up the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, a loosely formed organization that started 12 years ago when 10 Santas from around Southern California were selected to appear in a German mail-order company commercial. The group of gentlemen had such a good time together, talking shop and telling stories, that soon they were discussing when they could meet again for lunch.
Since they were all busy in December, said Timothy Connaghan, executive director of the group, they decided to meet on the third Sunday in January and have been doing so ever since. This January, their 13th annual Founders Luncheon will be held Jan. 21 at the Queen Mary in Long Beach. Tom Hartsfield of Utah, who was named the founder of the group, came up with the name because it sounded a bit like a union or a club.
By the time Riverside resident Connaghan came on board, the club had almost 300 members. "I started a Santa school, met more Santas and started a database," said Connaghan, who is also known as Santa Tim. "Networking is part of what we do. It is a wonderful group."
The Order sponsors workshops that include helpful hints about how to dispel fear in young children and crying babies and the latest scoop on toys. "We get the Big Toy Book (a catalog printed by Toys "R" Us) and Saturday mornings, you have to get up and watch cartoons," said Santa Tim, adding that the group also brings in a special authority on toys to speak at a workshop. "Back in July, we were talking about the new Elmo," he said.
There is also a workshop for Santa wives about how to deal with the male peacock, he said. "All of a sudden, these guys who wore the same T-shirt until their wife stole it from them to put in the wash are getting their hair done, bleached and combed. Come October, they stop eating garlic and start primping. We tell them not to use their wives' makeup, too," he added.
Etter, who has attended the group's workshops in the past, said he starts growing his beard every June. Just before Christmas season, his wife, Betty, begins bleaching it to the perfect shade of white.
"I used to super-glue one to my regular little beard," said Etter, "but I don't have to do that anymore."
Santa Dave, aka Vista resident Dave Davis, is also a member. He found his high-end Santa suit at a costume company in Upland, making two trips north for measurements and fitting. Davis said he has a real white beard that is about six inches long and requires no pillow above his belt either. "Nope," he said. "I don't need any stuffing around the middle. It's all bought and paid for."
Davis, who worked as a mechanic most of his life, said that his Santa earnings supplement Social Security payments since he has retired, but that's not the entire reason he is Santa come December.
"I have seen some people who are Santa who were sort of bitter about it, and that's no good," he said. "The first thing you have to do if you're going to be Santa is love children, and the second is to keep your sense of humor."
Nowadays, Santas come in all sorts of shapes, colors and sizes, said Connaghan. "There are all different types," he said, not just the image painted by Haddon Sundbloom and made famous by Coca-Cola, or the industry standard developed by Max Factor and Hollywood makeup people back in the early 1940s so as not to "disillusion children when they saw Santa in a scene in the movies," said Connaghan.
In fact, he says, not every one of the Amalgamated Order's members sport real beards. "The whole thing is that there are thousands of Santas who don't have a real beard and do a great job," he said. "If it's in the heart, that's all that's important."
For information on the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas, contact the Toy Shop at (951) 779-0536 or visit www.aorbsantas.com.
Contact staff writer Ruth Marvin Webster at (760) 740-3527 or rwebster@nctimes.com.
