TEMECULA -- About 160,000 students across America skip school every day -- a total of 28 million missed days per school year -- because of a fear of being attacked or intimidated by a bully.

That statistic was one of several discussed at a bullying workshop for parents Friday morning at Vintage Hills Elementary School, a seminar hosted by Principal Jenniffer Carpenter and presented by Arthur Cummins, an educational consultant with the Orange County Department of Education.

It was one of several efforts under way at the school to combat the pervasive problem of bullying, an issue not only affecting that campus but nearly every school in Southwest County and the nation.

A fall 2005 survey of nearly half of the district's fifth-graders found that 38 percent -- 483 students -- reported that they believed they had been bullied, either hit or pushed, at school.

Temecula Valley Unified School District's results are fairly similar to local, statewide and national trends for elementary school-aged students, California Department of Education 2004 survey results show. The data is the most recent available and is posted online at www.wested.org/chks.

"Your child has a right to feel safe at school," Cummins told the 50 mothers and fathers who attended the presentation at Vintage Hills. "You don't send your child to school to be assaulted."

About four years ago, Carpenter and Cummins began efforts at Vintage Hills to launch programs for students, teachers and parents to work toward civility on campus, they said.

The efforts began with the "It's Kool to be Kind" program, in which teachers and students talk about ways to be nice to each other as part of daily lessons, as well as conduct larger activities solely focused on increasing communication and understanding between students on campus, he said.

Those efforts grew Friday, when Cummins talked to parents about ways they could pitch in.

For one, he told parents to be "realistic -- don't overreact." Storming into the principal's office after their child has been bullied does not immediately solve problems. Instead, he said, track problems with a journal, then present the findings to an administrator with plenty of detail.

Other tips included offering to become a classroom volunteer and talking to their kids every day.

For parents of bullies, he advised that they take the issue seriously, not accept excuses from their children, hand out consequences for unacceptable behavior and ask school officials for help.

"Bullies at age 8 are three times more likely to be convicted of a crime by the age of 30," he said. "If we don't intervene, this is what happens."

The onus isn't just on parents, as Cummins' research found that the top parental concern regarding bullying is insufficient investigations by school administrators, he said, adding that the definition of a bully is one who is persistently picking on and hurting students. That is the reason tracking behavior and working with administrators to identify problem students is key, he said.

"When your child comes to you and the same person is doing the same thing over and over and over, that is useful information for school administrators … and classroom teachers," he said.

On the flip side, Vintage Hills Principal Carpenter has asked Cummins to help her launch an "invisible mentoring" program, in which campus employees will identify troubled students and meet with them a few times a week to talk about issues and give them encouragement and advice, she said.

Several parents who attended Friday's presentation said they were happy they took the time to come, that they learned a lot and hope to try some of the ideas Cummins touched upon.

"It's been a problem for a long time, and we are going to have to address the ugliness," said Lesli Guerrero, who has a second-grader and fourth-grader who attend Vintage Hills.

Parent Cathy Brown said she appreciated that the presentation touched on the issue of girls who bully, specifically female elementary-school students who spread rumors or purposely ignore peers.

She said her third-grade daughter said she feels she has no one to turn to when problems such as that occur, and that hopefully the discussions and efforts at the campus will change the situation.

Parent Rafael Rubio said he came to the presentation specifically because he is dealing with an issue at Vintage Hills in which he feels his child has been bullied.

"This is good information to get out there," he said. "Teachers and staff need to be able to pinpoint the bullies."

Contact staff writer Jennifer Kabbany at (951) 676-4315, Ext. 2625, or jkabbany@californian.com.