ESCONDIDO —— The Escondido man said the pretty little girl in the yellow sweatshirt told him she was glad for the toys, glad for the clothes they brought to her in the dusty refugee camp where she lives on the Jordanian side of the Iraqi border.

But what touched him about their New Year's Eve conversation, he said, was what she said next: "Thank you, but what we really need is a place to live in peace."

Fernando Suarez del Solar shook his head Thursday as he showed a picture of her and repeated the words of the child, who he said he thought was about 10 years old. The girl, and the children like her, have propelled him.

Suarez, 49, and his wife Rosa, 47, just came back from Jordan, where they spent more than a week as part of an American delegation of war protesters. The group went to the Middle East to bring medicine and supplies and to offer support for displaced Iraqis.

He'd been once before to the Middle East, and managed to find the spot where his beloved son died.

His son, Lance Cpl. Jesus Suarez del Solar, was 20 years old when he stepped on a land mine in Iraq. It was late March 2003. The war was in its infancy.

The older Suarez has since spent his life campaigning for the U.S. government to pull American troops out of the war. The other part of his mission in life, he said, is helping Iraqi children.

For Suarez, the reason his son died is clear: he was aiding Iraqi children. And now, Suarez said, it falls to him. Otherwise, his son's death will have been in vain.

But the couple and the peace delegation with which they traveled have their critics, including people who feel that they were simply trying to get press to further their stance against the war.

Holiday trip

The couple's trip, which began Dec. 26 and ended Tuesday, came as part of a group that dubbed itself the "Families for Peace Delegation."

Group members said that the financial and logistical support behind the trip to Jordan came from organizations including the anti-war group Code Pink, the human rights group Global Exchange, and Physicians for Social Responsibility.

Fifteen Americans went, including four who had lost military children to the war and one who had lost her firefighter son on Sept. 11, 2001.

Also part of the delegation was Jodie Evans, a cofounder of Code Pink, which she said was founded to protest the war in Iraq.

Evans said Thursday that about 40,000 people have signed up on the Code Pink Web site to receive e-mail alerts and newsletters about the group's activities.

On this trip to Jordan, the American group brought money and medicine —— a combination Evans said was worth some $600,000 —— for displaced Iraqis, particularly those from the war-torn city of Fallujah, which was devastated by fighting last year.

About $100,000 of that money was collected through donations solicited on the Internet and other sources, according to a statement Evans sent out prior to the trip.

The humanitarian groups known as Middle East Children's Alliance and Operation USA contributed $500,000 worth of medical supplies, according to Evans.

On Thursday, fresh off his return from halfway around the world, Suarez spoke with passion about his experience.

In the living room of the family's Escondido apartment, a huge photo of his dead son —— in his dress blues —— hung over the couch. The young man's photo also greeted visitors to the home, posted outside over the doorbell. And in the nearby parking lot, it adorned family vehicles. On one van, a photo of the fallen Marine hovered next to anti-war and anti-President Bush statements. On another, his picture sat next to Marine Corps decals.

Since his son died, Suarez is no longer working and now devotes himself "100 percent" to protesting the war, speaking to crowds and raising money to get medicine and supplies to the Middle East.

Getting gifts, medicine to Iraqis

The recent trip was a good one —— not a great one —— he said, because security concerns for his Iraqi contacts forced the American group to remain in Jordan. Also, he and his cohorts were not able to enter the refugee camps that sit just west of the Iraqi border.

The group tried to get into three camps but were denied, he said.

Two of the camps, he said, were in a zone blocked off by the Jordanian military. The American war protesters were denied access, he said.

But at one of the camps, about 70 children were allowed to come outside to get clothing and toys the Americans brought for them.

On Thursday, Suarez displayed dozens of photos of himself and his group with the children. The dusty camp could be seen in the distance of the strikingly flat, barren landscape.

In many of the pictures, the Iraqi kids hold up their fingers in a "V" sign.

Suarez said the group also met in Amman, Jordan, with Iraqi doctors who had slipped across the border to get the supplies the American group had brought.

Suarez said he lugged two full suitcases of antibiotics with him. Other supplies were shipped ahead of time.

But the Americans also brought cash, which they handed to the doctors to go buy more medicine in Amman. The doctors, Suarez said, came back to the hotel with boxes full of what they needed, mostly antibiotics.

Evans said that, for her, getting medicine to the Iraqi doctors was the mission.

Suarez has copies of newspapers he bought in Jordan, daily papers published while he was there. The words are in Arabic, unreadable to him. But the man in the pictures is clearly him.

The American delegation held a press conference at their hotel in Amman. Suarez and the paper have photos of the group speaking to the press and photos of the medicine and medical supplies the delegation put on display during their press conference.

Suarez said people recognized him on the street as the man they'd read about, the American whose picture they'd seen as part of a group who had come to offer aid to the refugees. Many of them, he said, thanked him.

A helper or a traitor?

Some critics stand firm that the delegation's actions and trips to the Middle East are treason, and argue that they are offering aid and comfort to the enemy.

Among those critics is John Schueler, an Oceanside resident who feels the group's trip was not humanitarian, but rather a way to get press for their political, anti-war stance.

"I do think they give comfort to the enemy," Schueler said. "I really question the need for (Suarez) to go there. It's quite obviously a slap at the war effort."

Suarez and Evans are both unabashed protesters of the war and of the current president.

Evans, 50, was among the protesters tossed from the Republican National Convention for heckling President Bush last year.

On Thursday, she defended her trips —— four of them, thus far —— to the Middle East, saying the trips were not a political statement. The Los Angeles-area resident also defended her anti-war stance.

"I'm not treasonous," Evans said. "I'm doing what I believe for my country. People can say whatever they want. Calling me names doesn't keep me from doing what I believe in."

Suarez said he understands his detractors, and respects their right to say what they will. He is steadfast that his actions —— in the name of his slain son, in the name of peace, in the name of human rights —— are moral.

Smoke rose from his cigarette and he touched his chest as he spoke. He wore an T-shirt with an anti-Bush statement on it.

"My personal conviction is the innocent people need help, anytime," he said with a thick Spanish accent. "The people most suffering is the children.

"I send no support for the enemies. I make no comfort for the enemies, because the children are not the enemies."

Contact staff writer Teri Figueroa at (760) 740-3517 or tfigueroa@nctimes.com.