Three years ago, when Danielle Gram co-founded Kids for Peace in Carlsbad, she never dreamed that her message of nonviolence would prompt the creation of more than 50 chapters in 11 countries.
She also never imagined that her only brother would become a murder victim.
On Friday, the Gram family will host a memorial to celebrate the life of Kenneth Andrew Gram, 22, who was stabbed to death on Nov. 18 while on vacation in Annapolis, Md. His sister Danielle, 20, said that despite her grief, she forgives her brother's killer.
"We still think that peace is the right way to respond, and not retribution or more violence, because it would just cause greater loss of life and more suffering," Danielle said this week.
Kenneth graduated from Carlsbad High School in 2005, where he played tuba in the marching band. A lifelong lover of the printed word, Kenneth studied creative writing at UC Santa Cruz and one day dreamed of being a literature professor, his father John Gram said.
After graduating in May, he briefly worked at the Del Mar fairgrounds before leaving on a road trip with his girlfriend around the Northeast and Canada.
At about 2 a.m. on Nov. 18, one day before he was supposed to come home, Kenneth got into a argument with his girlfriend and decided to walk by himself to a nearby diner, his father said.
Police found Kenneth's body shortly afterwards, about two blocks from a housing project, with knife wounds to his neck and upper body. He still carried his cell phone and his money. John Lee, the Annapolis detective handling the case, said the investigation is ongoing.
Danielle said that in January she plans to go back to the housing project and ask if the people living there would like to participate in her program.
Kids for Peace is a nonprofit group that has about 2,000 to 3,000 regular members, some affiliated through schools and others set up like scout troops, said Jill McManigal, the program's other founder. Children learn about other cultures and donate fingerpainted "peace packs" filled with school supplies to the needy. The group is based on a philosophy rooted in their peace pledge, a child-made mantra that reiterates their commitment of kindness to others.
"My brother was extremely proud of the peace work, and he did a lot of it himself," Danielle said. "He was one of the first volunteers ever for Kids for Peace, painting kids' hands and helping them make peace packs. He campaigned and lobbied with me for peace legislation ... He really believed in it."
The memorial for Kenneth will be from 7 to 10 p.m. at Moonlight State Beach in Encinitas. Participants are urged to come in an outfit that best expresses who they are, preferably not black, and also come with a poem or song to share, to honor Kenneth's creative spirit. At 9 p.m., the family will host a candlelight vigil to honor victims of violence.
John Gram, the father of Ken and Danielle, said he always supported his children's work as a proud parent. Now, he said, he has a different perspective.
"The Kids for Peace pledge is so simplistic," he said, "but if every human being were to wake up in the morning and say it in their own language, and then live it in their own lives, the problems would go away. And my son wouldn't have been murdered.
"I understand what she's doing now. And I understand that I have to be a much bigger part of it."
Call staff writer Lucia Walinchus at 760-739-6675.
Memorial for Kenneth Gram
When: Friday; 7 p.m. bonfire; 9 p.m. candlelight vigil
Where: Moonlight State Beach, Encinitas
The family is asking that donations be sent to:
Kids for Peace at kidsforpeaceUSA.org, Kids for Peace, 3303 James Drive, Carlsbad, CA, 92008; or
The Kenneth Andrew Gram Memorial Scholarship, c/o Liz Sandoval, Humanities Dean's Office, 1156 High St., Santa Cruz, CA 95064, Payable to "UCSC Foundation-Kenneth Gram."
