Well, daylight-saving time is here.

Trees are taking on skeletal form.

Temperatures are beginning to fall.

The long sunny days are over, and extended night is upon us.

It's that creepy time of the year when legend has it that menacing things go bump in the night.

So let's review the rules of engagement just in case one dark and stormy night something wicked this way comes.

First -- and I can't stress this enough -- stay out of the basement and keep that door locked, no matter what. If you decide to disregard this warning, don't think a flashlight will help you because batteries, electricity and modern inventions don't work down there. Nor will a candle stay lit.

The second rule is the same as the first, only substitute "attic" for "basement."

If you're baby-sitting and the phone rings, check the caller ID before answering. If the caller's number is any combination of 666, don't answer it.

OK, so you answered it anyway and all you hear on the other end is labored breathing. Don't ask who it is. Hang up and assume it's not for you.

If you flip a light switch when you enter a room and the light fails to go on, back out slowly and hope whatever is messing with the circuits is down in the basement. Because you locked that basement door, didn't you?

There are differences of opinion on what to do if you hear a strange noise in the house. Some say go immediately to see what it is. Some say pull the covers over your head and hope you're mistaken.

Keep in mind, the level of danger changes in inverse proportion to the number of (live) people in the house.

If you are alone, the source of the noise will likely be something big and loud with a voracious appetite for human blood.

If you are in a group, the noise will be the snickering of a creature that is laughing because it knows you're kidding yourself that there's safety in numbers.

Nonetheless, you should never, ever split up a group to go looking for anything. Especially in the basement. I know, I covered that already. But it bears repeating.

Moving on.

If you're being chased in a strange house, don't open closet doors, particularly if it's been a while since you've seen any of your companions.

Remember, screaming never scares a monster. And it's not like anyone will hear you because they're all dead.

If you're being chased by a fiend, almost anything is a potential weapon except running.

If you're fleeing for your life, don't run upstairs to the roof unless, of course, you can fly.

If you're cornered, remember that threatening to call the police on a crazed killer never works. It's pretty hard to intimidate a guy who's left a trail of bodies in his wake.

And this is key: The rules work differently for groups of teenagers who are in some remote place engaging in licentious behavior under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.

That about covers it, I think.

Oh, yes, there's this -- never go to the bathroom alone.

As for taking a shower, I have two words for you: Norman Bates.

You're probably laughing at my so-called advice.

Laughing at the idea that evil might be roaming the earth looking for whom it might destroy.

Well, laugh all you want to. But remember this:

There are three kinds of people in this world:

People who believe in werewolves.

People who don't believe in werewolves.

And werewolves.

Contact staff writer Agnes Diggs at (760) 740-3511 or adiggs@nctimes.com.