Once again, we've locked horns. I want a wide-screen high definition TV, she doesn't. With the Padres in a battle for the pennant and the football season about to start, I'm drooling over the prospect of hanging a 50-inch plasma screen on my wall.

"Will the Padres and Chargers win more games on a big screen?" my wife asks.

She can't distinguish between small screen and big, low definition and high, and regular and wide-screen. "These new TVs offer people a viewing experience unlike anything else," I explain.

"An experience?" she questions. "Get a grip. It's just a TV. You're not flying to the moon."

Notwithstanding her objections, I checked out some prices. I found a set I liked for only $4,999.

"Five thousand dollars for a television?" my wife screeched.

"It's a plasma," I said.

"What does that mean? It's made out of blood?"

"It's the latest in electronic technology," I explained. "It's got a 50-inch screen, it's only 2 inches thick, and it hangs on the wall like a picture."

"And if we stay with what we have now," she replied, "we have a 25-inch screen, it's 2 feet thick, it sits on the floor, and we save $5,000."

"Actually, $5,000 is just for the TV. We also need to have it installed."

"I thought you said it hangs on the wall like a picture?"

"Yes, but a contractor has to build in the speakers."

"The TV costs $5,000 and it doesn't come with speakers?"

"Of course it comes with speakers, but that's not going to cut it. We need to install new speakers in the wall and the ceiling. That's the only way we're going to get Dolby Digital Surround Sound. We're also going to need a high-definition receiver, some stereo equipment, an HDTV cable box, a low-frequency subwoofer, special wiring, and some minor alterations. It adds up to about $13,000, but you won't believe the picture, and the sound system will be awesome. You'll actually be able to see a guy shoot a gun on the TV and hear the bullet ricochet behind you. Can you believe that?"

"Just so I understand what you're proposing. If we're OK with hearing a bullet in front of us, it will cost us nothing, but if we want to hear a bullet ricochet behind us, it's going to set us back $13,000."

"You can make light of it, but the technology that is available in these new TVs is incredible, and I for one would like to enjoy it. The sound is so superior to the old technology! There are frequencies so complex, only a dog could hear them."

"So we're buying a $13,000 television for the dog?"

"Hon, you're not moving with the times. Our TV is a relic. Did you know that it only has 480 scan lines versus 1,080 on an HDTV? And did you know our old TV has only 210,000 pixels, compared with 2.4 million? The resolution on these new TVs is so incredible, the human eye has difficulty assimilating it all."

"As long as the dog can see it," she replied.

Regrettably, she gave me a thumbs-down. Call it a T-Veto. She says if we bought the dog a $3 chew toy, he'd be a lot happier.

Irv Erdos of Escondido is a free-lance columnist. Visit his Web site at: www.IrvErdos.com.