In case you missed the news this week, the Murrieta City Council voted to ban smoking in restaurants and schools. Now, this is the kind of decisive leadership for which the people have been clamoring.

Sure, Jefferson Avenue has been torn up since Juan Murrieta drove his sheep into town, the "Golden Triangle" once again has turned to pyrite and no one can be found to build the new city hall, but at least the kids can't light up at school.

I know, I know, tobacco has always been banned from the campuses of Murrieta's schools and smoking has been prohibited in all of California's restaurants and bars for years.

Maybe it's just me -- I'm not a smoker, except for my a once-a-week cigar with the boys -- but doesn't an ordinance banning smoking where it's pretty much already banned seem a bit redundant? And exactly how does a police department that has been shorthanded since Day 1 go about enforcing the new -- or are they old -- rules?

If this keeps up, what future actions might we expect from the council?

Hmmm, I can see the news reports now.

(Fade to dream sequence)

The Murrieta City Council agreed Tuesday to ban handguns from carry-on luggage. Citing an urgent need to protect the homeland, the council agreed to keep firearms out of the easy reach of airline passengers.

"The last thing this country needs is someone running up and down the aisles of an airplane waving a loaded handgun," one councilman concluded. "By passing this ordinance, Murrieta will help keep America safe."

The council also voted to ratify the Missouri Compromise and admit the states of Maine and Missouri to the Union.

"Most historians will tell you the Missouri Compromise was signed in 1820 admitting Missouri as a slave state and Maine as a free state," a staffer said. "The council agreed it was important for Murrieta to weigh in on the compromise. They felt it was important to let the people of those states know Murrieta is behind them all the way."

In a related move made prior to the previous vote, the council voted to endorse the 13th amendment, abolishing slavery in all states.

"We really couldn't support Missouri if it was a slave state," a staffer said. "The city doesn't need any more negative press."

In another constitutional move, women will now be able to vote in Murrieta.

"By voting to enforce the 19th Amendment, we feel Murrieta is taking a positive stand," one councilman said. "Of course, we still don't want a woman on the City Council, but it's 2006 and they should be able to vote on school bonds and other, you know, women's issues."

Finally, the council voted 3-2, after a lengthy and spirited debate, to repeal prohibition.

"Heck, we're not letting people smoke," a staffer said. "At least we can let them drink."

Contact columnist John Hunneman at (951) 676-4315, Ext. 2603, or hunneman@californian.com.