By: TIM DAHLBERG - Associated Press | Posted: Sunday, January 29, 2006 12:00 am
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For 43 percent of American adults -- the ones who describe
themselves as loyal NFL fans -- this might be the most painful
weekend of the year. They are oddly disconcerted, and sometimes
break into cold sweats while palming the remote control.
It's little wonder why. For 25 straight weeks the NFL has been
feeding their addiction, beginning with the oddly named American
Bowl on Aug. 6 in Japan (Atlanta 27, Indianapolis 21, for those who
might have forgotten).
Summer turned into fall and then became winter. The seasons
changed, but there was always one constant. Every Sunday, you could
count on the NFL for a quick fix.
Those glorious days are over. The Super Bowl looms and, for one
weekend, television sets are silent across our great land.
So why does the NFL insist on adding an extra week before the
big game? Turns out there are plenty of good reasons, some of which
you may not have thought about before.
Among them, it gives:
- Matt Hasselbeck and Terry Bradshaw extra time to make a
commercial and fully capitalize on their follicly challenged heads.
The two gave bald men across America a boost, showing you don't
need hair to succeed, when they gleefully rubbed their shiny heads
together after Seattle's win over Carolina
- The NFL additional time to find and remove all the Matt Millens
hanging in effigy at Ford Field.
- Jerome Bettis another week to savor what may be the last game
of his career. Bettis has the rare chance to do what few athletes
can -- go out on top in the biggest game he's ever been in. That
didn't look so promising only a few weeks ago when his untimely
fumble against Indianapolis nearly ended his career
prematurely.
- Indianapolis Colts fans a chance to unload the hotel rooms they
booked a few months ago when their team was undefeated and seemed
certain to be headed to the Motor City.
- Vegas betting parlors and offshore Internet sites another week
to rake in Super Bowl bucks. Last year, gamblers wagered $90.7
million in legal sports books in Nevada and untold hundreds of
millions more online in books of questionable legality. One betting
site even offers action on which Super Bowl commercial will be the
highest rated. Toss in office pools and bar squares and there's
enough money bet on the game to retire the debt of a medium-sized
country.
- Another 200 or so Detroiters the chance to pack up their
U-Hauls and leave town. Detroit's population has been cut in half
over the last 50 years, and some 10,000 people leave every
year.
- Two of the NFL's most deserving owners more time to enjoy the
spotlight they usually shun. Dan Rooney is a league icon and son of
one of the founding members of the NFL, while Microsoft billionaire
Paul Allen kept the Seahawks in Seattle and remained patient with
coach Mike Holmgren when things weren't going so well.
- Holmgren another week to continue the molding of Hasselbeck
into one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Ben Roethlisberger
gets the publicity, but Hasselbeck manages his offense well and
completed two of every three passes he attempted this season.
- Players from both teams more time to figure out how to get in
and out of the Canadian party city of Windsor without drawing
attention. There's more trouble to be found up north than on a
Minnesota Vikings cruise, and don't be surprised if some players
manage to find it.
- Seattle fans time to drink a few million more triple lattes and
get their own kind of buzz on. There are only three Starbucks in
Detroit, but luckily they will understand when Seattleites come in
and start speaking coffee babble like "Double-tall, four-pump
vanilla caramel Macchiato."
- The Rolling Stones more time to remember what city they are in
and what the lyrics are to "Start Me Up." Think a Janet Jackson
wardrobe malfunction was shocking? Keep your eyes on Keith Richards
during halftime.
- Seemingly ordinary people enough time to do silly things like
rename their towns for a week like Washington, Pa., did when it
adopted the monicker Steeler, Pa. Then there's the Pennsylvania
couple who dress their 15-month-old son in a No. 7 Steelers jersey
and make sure he never misses a Steelers game on TV. The boy's
name? Seven.
- ESPN the time to relentlessly hype the game. Sure, it's the
biggest game of the year, but the endless talking heads blabbing
endlessly about what might happen can make your head spin after a
few days.
- Levitra one more big week to capitalize on its standing as the
official erectile dysfunction drug of the NFL. The NFL doesn't have
a problem allowing sexually suggestive ads and those that promote
beer drinking, but don't try to sneak a Super Bowl ad in featuring
gambling in Las Vegas.
And, finally:
- More time to enjoy former Super Bowl MVP Jerry Rice on "Dancing
with the Stars." When last seen, Rice was in tights taking ballet
lessons in an effort to improve his footwork.
His competitive juices, though, were still flowing.
"I came here to win," Rice said.