Jean Hart Gillette

North County Times

Welcome, parents and visitors, to this year's annual Science Fair. Our winning exhibits are displayed throughout the classrooms and I think you will agree that we have some very original projects this year.

Young Billy has provided a study in just how long the scum on teeth can be grown when a child manages to avoid brushing. His experiment succeeded especially well because he was left in his father's charge for a week while his mom visited Grandma.

On the left, you will find a truly unique volcano made entirely from the leftover peas Sam refused to eat during the past month. Notice the clever use of mashed carrots to represent the lava.

One particularly precocious sixth-grader has done a study of how long he could go without a bath or shower before no one in his class would come near him. His mother indicated that they simply stumbled on this topic after she read a parenting column that suggested she quit fighting him about personal hygiene. His project had to be graded separately, as he was being home-schooled for a week or two. Although the test results were captured on film, I understand the actual laboratory evidence was destroyed when his mother finally lost it and wrestled him into a bubble bath.

Over here, be sure to see the data on how much peanut butter it takes to cover the average kitchen floor. Imagine! This was all done by a kindergartner with just a little help from his younger brother.

Further on we find another innovative experiment which measures the growing capabilities of the dirt found under a third-grader's fingernails over a one-week period. Aren't those the most beautiful tomatoes you have ever seen? In that same vein, we have a wonderful class project. Here is a thriving hydroponic garden grown solely from the rinse water from the jeans of Mrs. Jones's fifth-graders. As a sidelight, they produced a soup containing every daily minimum vitamin requirement from boiling the class's T-shirts immediately after lunch.

One first-place award went to a study of which age group wore through the soles of their sneakers at the fastest rate. The fascinating results showed that the more expensive the shoe, the faster the disintegration.

We unfortunately had to disqualify one potential award winner who did a study on how long an 8-year-old can last, eating only chocolate, before keeling over in a hyperglycemic fit. It was discovered that this research was almost a year old, having been done just after last Easter.

Our final outstanding project shows startling photos of how much bubble gum can be chewed in the mouth of one fifth-grader in a 1-hour period.

While three dental technicians had to be called in to remove the final results from Alice's mouth, she has had inquiries from the Guinness Book of World Records and the Fleer company. She received a second award for additional studies on how to best remove chewing gum from hair and clothing, assisted by those helpful dental technicians.

Yes, we are enormously proud of our imaginative youngsters and their supportive parents. Thank you for coming and take care not to step in any of our other experiments on your way out.

Jean Hart Gillette is a journalist and free-lance writer who lives with her own two science experiments in La Costa.

3/11/01